I Surprise Myself.

So Today I was going through old pictures with my mom. Oh have I changed.

But besides looking at my  chubby face and my variety of odd hair do’s and ugly clothes, I thought about the girl in the picture. That girl in the picture would never believe the things I have overcome in the  last 19 years of my life. Even looking in the Mirror today, I still can’t believe the girl staring back at me has overcome the obsticles put infront of her and is still standing tall.

I surprise myself sometimes. Today I was driving my car and it hit me that I was  actually operating the vehicle. I have the capability of controlling a 20 ton car with no problem. I look at my mother with amazement seeing that she can control an entire school bus with 54 screaming children inside it.

The other night I was talking to my friend Krystal. I hadn’t seen Krystal in 2 years and it didn’t feel weird. I was worried that it would have, but it didn’t. I was telling her about some stuff that has happened in my life recently and she said “Showed you how strong you  really are, huh?” and I never thought about it. I never thought about myself through the pain and problems I was going through. I was trying to get through one day at a time. I think if I thought about myself I wouldn’t have gotten through it.

But now that the nightmare is over, I feel like I can get through anything. I believe that everything happens for a reason. I feel like if I didn’t go through the problems in my life I wouldn’t be the person I am today. I have cried enough in the last 2 months to fill an ocean, I have freaked out enough to be in a loony bin. and I have wrote my problems out so many times I could make a novel. But that’s me.

Tomorrow is the 24th. I hate the 24th of the month. It’s the unluckiest day of the month. But I am happy I will be tail gating tomorrow at the Jason Aldean concert instead of sitting home alone. I don’t think I would want to be alone tomorrow. Being alone makes you more depressed sometimes. I know when people are depressed, all they want to do is be alone;but I think that people make you stronger. They make you realize you have a purpose in life.

I know without my friends, I don’t think I would have gotten through the last few months. Within the last couple months, I have found out who my real friends are. From the ones who let me sleep on their couch after a long horrendous day, to the ones I call crying so hard I can’t speak and they just listen. I am grateful for the people who are in my life now. They have  literally picked up when I fell and showed me how strong I was capable of being. They have made me feel wanted when I thought no one cared.  I have grown up tremendously in the last month that even I have noticed it. I have become an adult. I have never felt this confident with myself. These people in my life don’t judge. They don’t lie. I know they would never screw me over. They have been by my side and I will be there for them.

I’m going to hang out with my friend Liz. Who say’s hi to all you followers and friends.

xo Sarah


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