Yesterday I was talking to my friend Scottie about girls. He informed me that all girls are the same, well most girls. I wasn’t offended because in some ways he is completely right. Girls don’t know what to do with themselves. Girls have emotions, feelings, and they let everyone know that. Some girls wear dresses and heels and some wear sports bra and yoga pants, but in the end we all have high pitch voices and all have hearts so yes, we all are the same. Since I’ve met Scott, I’ve looked at people alot differently. I don’t judge them but I try to figure out their story. Maybe it’s because when I looked at Scott I didn’t know his story till I got to know him well. Maybe that’s why I am called a creep, who knows? With all my new friends I looked at them and tried to imagine what their story was. Were they ever in love? Are they married with two kids? are they a virgin? All these questions run through my mind when I meet perticular people.I pick people to be my friends I believe because I can’t figure them out when I meet them. I know when I met Scott I couldn’t figure him out. He didn’t blatantly tell a story through his eyes. As I got to know him, he story was simple. He was a guy, who had a family, had a past and had some scars and in due time, would get more in my prensents .
Today I was at the food store and I was looking at all the different people around me. They were all really uniquly different. Some were wearing really ugly clothes, some had a thick staten island accent and some were just teenagers with their moms. When I loook at people, I wonder why they are at the foodstore. Are they desperate for food? Do they have to use food stamps?
The food store is a great place for inspiration. Seeing different people trying so hard to figure out everyones story. For a creative person like me, sometimes the stories I come up with in my head are a little outragous. I wonder what my friends thought of me when I met them? I wonder if my story was hidden. I know in some ways it is. I wonder if I put my heart on my sleeve. I wish I could one day just watch myself interact, to not have any control over my body. I wonder if I would like it.
There are other places that really good for inspiration. I like going to poetry readings, they are perticully really good for creative flow. I like to hear the rythmn of someones voice. When people talk its soothing. my friend Andrew recites alot of poetry and stuff outloud and when he does that, its not that I am not listening its that the sound of his voice makes me write. It’s not just his voice, its anyones voice. It could be a song. I like jazz music personally. Nora Jones, Adele, some slow Carrie Underwood are my favorites the write to. When I am out and I write I need to have other sounds around me. I can’t just write in a silent room. In my writing class I had to do that. my productivness of that class wasn’t very well because I was writing in a silent class room. I think next semester I am going to ask if I could use my ipod while I write.
Everyone has their own writing process. When I went to the awp conference I met this women who told me she had to sell her tv in order to write. I think when I get my own apartment I am not going to buy a Tv. I think I am going get a little dresser, a small bed and a desk. Going to other people’s apartment’s and houses I’ve noticed that people have alot more then they really need. I know I do. I don’t really use anything but my phone,ipod,computer,books, and a bed. I read when I am not on the computer and when I am not on the computer or reading I am usally on the my phone or out somewhere. Television is okay when you need time to just be mentally dead. There are days when I get like that. I will sit on the couch for hours and watch marathon after marathon of Project Runway or America’s Next Top Model. There are days when you need your brain to just slow the hell down.
But Anyway going back to people… I believe that people are all the same in some ways. Men, women, girls, boys. We are all the same.Age doesn’t matter because we are all the same. The maturity of us have gone through similar things and delt with similar problems. I think that is why I hang out with people that vary in age. My one friend Ruti is 25, and I hang out with her just like I would hang out with any other person. I think that age doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter when you really love someone and they are apparently “too old” for you or just have a close bond. My mother always says, “once you turn 21 it all doesn’t matter. I don’t understand that because what if people don’t drink when they turn 21? they are the same people they were when they were 20. It doesn’t matter to me about age. When I have children, (if I do) I won’t mind that my son or daughter is hanging out with older people. As long as they are happy, that is all that should matter. I believe that if you hang out with older people you are less likely to get into any trouble. When I was hanging out with younger kids I felt like I was at greater risk because I was the oldest and they wouldn’t get in trouble and i would.
People all have stories. Some are more hidden than others. But in the end, we all have something to tell, I think that is why I became a writer, I am a story teller. I like to tell people what goes on in my life and in my brain because why wouldn’t anyone not want to know?
Happy Cinco De Mayo Everyone!