Love. People define love in several different ways. Some people don’t believe in it because they have been hurt. Some don’t even know what it is at all. But when you do fall in love, you can’t believe that your heart can give off such love to just one person. Everyday I look at the man I fell in love with and think why did I pick him out of all the people in world? Why was he there at the right place at the right time?
I was at this luncheonette with my friend Cheekz today and there was a couple in front of us that were having lunch together and also on their computers. When I looked at them for the first time, I didn’t even know they were together.They looked like they were business partners or co workers . I didn’t find out they were together until the woman stood up and kissed the man on the head before walking into the bathroom. I was surprised because usually you can tell if people are together when you see them. They usually either stand close to each other or the man puts his arm around the woman. After seeing this couple however, I was increasing intrigued about their relationship. In some ways, I felt like I was looking at a reflection of my relationship. You don’t have to spread it to the world that you love someone. You can just look into their eyes and it can take your breath away and that is better than any form of PDA. I never knew that a man could take your breath away until it happened a year and a half ago.
When I was talking to Cheekz over lunch, she was giving me advise about my life. She said that someone may love you and you don’t even notice it. I can never imagine that any guy would fall in love with me. I can’t imagine a man feeling the way I feel everyday of my life. I can’t imagine me being on someones mind everyday.I can’t imagine being theirs. I’ve never had a man tell me that he loved me but when it does happen, I don’t think I will believe it. I know men can feel, but the feeling of falling in love is probably the most powerful and passionate feeling I’ve ever felt. It’s like your heart beats because of them. I can’t even put into words how unbelievable it feels to fall in love with someone. It can suck sometimes because no matter what they do, you can’t mentally wrap your head around them not being part of your life. But when you get in your car alone after a long day together and you can just sit there feeling amazed that that was you, all the hard work is worth it .
I’ve been asked a million times ” why do you want a guy in your life?” “why don’t you just stay free and single in college?” I honestly don’t ever want to feel like a floater again. Being single for all those years sucked. Your confidence decreases because even though your mother thinks you’re beautiful, it doesn’t mean the guy you’ve crushed on for years is going to think the same way. You are just waiting around for someone to like you. You are the puppy and no longer the puppy catcher.
I wonder if I intrigue people when I go out. I wonder what they think when I am sitting at a table with a man as I am trying so hard not to smile, I must look a little crazy. I wonder if they see my eyes. Because if they do, they would know the whole story.