So the other day I went shopping with my friend Shannon. Shannon and I don’t really hang out much, but when we do, its pretty fun and exciting. She just got a boyfriend and she is pretty excited about it. Every time we talk about our relationships. Hers is a little more complicated because her boyfriend has a kid with another woman and so she has “baby mama drama” and so its a little difficult for her. I know I couldn’t deal with being with someone who has a kid. I mean if they found out they has a kid while I was with them I don’t think I would be too mad but I wouldn’t voluntarily get into a relationship with someone who has a kid. I am not out to be someones mom. I am not going to be someones babysitter. But Anyway, besides that, my relationship and her relationship with her boyfriend are pretty much the same. Her boyfriend is 21 and has a kid and is living in his car because he’s having a tough time with it. Scottie is having a tough time right now financially but I’m not going to get into it, its really none of my business. I know he’s strong enough to get out of it and I have the confidence he will.
Shannon was telling me that shes afraid that her boyfriend would leave her and go to a different state. ( her boyfriend has been thinking about going to North Carolina) And it got me thinking, Scottie wants to go to California and I am perfectly okay with it. It’s his life, not mine and I wouldn’t want anyone telling me I couldn’t go somewhere that I dreamed of going . If someone told me that I couldn’t go to Georgia because they didn’t want me to I would laugh in their face. I guess I am so used to be independent that its okay that Scottie will eventually move along and move to California. He should live a dream and noone should hold him back.It’s funny how the world works, I’ll see him again for sure.
When I was little, my mom signed a contract from my aunts saying I couldn’t leave the state while I was growing up. They wanted to watch me grow up. My mom loved living in different places but after I was born, she had to get strapped down. It sucked for her because I know she would have love to just go. Now, I want to get out, I hope she comes with me.
People want to get out of their homes. I’ve talked to so many people and they say “I gotta get the hell out of here, move on” and I agree. Middletown New Jersey is not going to help me in my career, even though there are people here I love and memories I will never forget. It’s over for me. I can’t improve anymore here.