Maturity in my Veins


Tonight I went to my co workers house after working a long dragging 6 hour shift.

For the first time in a very long time,I felt like I was on the same page with women that I should be on the same page with. It wasn’t a bad thing, it was actually an amazing thing to me.

Throughout my life I never really hung out with little kids. Little kids annoyed me. Kids my age weren’t fun. They were playing games and trying to get into places they weren’t supposed to and I wasn’t. I remember when I was little I would sit in on the PTA meetings instead of hanging out in the kids room. Since being an only child I was never used to hanging out with kids my own age or kids in that matter. I hung out with my cousins who are older, and my mom.

My mom wonders why I want to be with older guys, and I sometimes ask myself the same question. But after tonight I’ve finally come up with an answer that I can say sounds at least halfway convincing. I am interested in older guys because I don’t know any other way. I have never met a guy who was younger who was even half way decent or mature. Men mature really slow so by the age of 25, a man’s maturity level is only at an 19-20, hence my actual age,…I think that logically makes sense.

When hanging out with kids younger, you tend to get in trouble more. Even though it sometimes maybe not always be the case, you are still at some sort of risk. Older people aren’t going to put you into situations if you really know what you’re doing and how smart you are.

As I sat at the kitchen table of my friends house tonight, it dawned on me that I am the most comfortable with people who are older because I have nothing to lose. These people have gone through what I’m going through and made it out alive, and if they could do it, so can I.

I thank my mom for  letting  me be me because without her consistent friendship throughout my life, I wouldn’t be the mature person I am today

Ps. Sorry I haven’t been on more… I’ve been crazy busy. My life will slow down soon!

sarah.

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