Heavy Foot,Heavy Heart.


I heard the door creek open

You

Walk in thinking I can’t hear you

Thinking I don’t know what you’re about to tell me

What I’m about to hear

You walk up the stairs one heavy foot

After the other saying prayers in your head

Wishing things weren’t like this

Wishing you could go back in time

Thinking how I’ll react or

If I’ll react at all

You look at me and turn

And put your head down in shame

I listen to your heavy heart beat as you  walk closer

You sit on the couch

Tan,dirty,warn out

Filled with memories

Ripped at the seams you didn’t care

You were in the moment and said you’d fix it later

But never got around to it

you take off your bulky snow shoes

It wasn’t snowing, you just liked how it looked

With your outfit

But today

You didn’t care about your outfit

Or anything in that matter

I put my arm around you

Your breath s are heavy and you face is red

Not only from the cold

But I knew you were crying

I knew it wasn’t easy

Did you laugh,did you tell

Anyone but me?

“I have to tell you something”

You said moving away from my grasp

I could feel the coldness taking over your body

This news couldn’t wait you thought

Even though it was something

I already digested.

You threw up the words

As you bit furiously at your lip

Piercing it with your teeth

You

Held onto to whatever was left

Of strength you had

Silence hugged you as I looked blankly out the window

Unsure of what to say

Unsure of what to feel .

You slipped your boots onto your feet

As teardrops hit the floor

You weren’t crying

your heart just didn’t know what to do

I didn’t know what to do

“I’d better go” you said

Slipping on your jacket

You were always cold

But today

You were even colder

And days to come it would be the coldest

You would ever be.

You grabbed my hand and looked up at me

Your eyes glistened in the dim street light

You were so pale, so fragile

“I’m sorry “ you said

I held you, I felt every inch of your soul

I could feel your heart break against me

And I had no tape to piece it back together

“we will get through this” I said “Just like we always had”

You sniffled and nodded not even looking up

I watched you walk away

Your boots shuffle across the concrete

You

Slid into your car

I see your break lights shine against the white houses

I turn to walk away

Not knowing how we would get through this

Or if we would at all.

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