Quiet at the Bay


How has the differences divided us so?

How can you stand there when you know

You can’t turn back

 You can’t rewind.

 

Two paychecks shine in the street lamps

 And you feel the warmth draining

Out of you like blood and you are cold

Like the salt water of the bay.

 

The wind makes you feel the tears

Before they hit the cracks

 and seep into the past.

You wonder if it could have been fixed

if it could have been like every other time

where fights were resolved with cigarettes

and drugs.

 

Its your hands

the ocean is speechless and you stand there

wishing the stars could write something.

 

 

you walk

Leaving us in a small town

Littered with junk and memories

And two broken hearts.

 

Back to school, Back to writing.

Sarah.

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I cry and you stand there

Like a pole lifeless you watch as I get transported back

to a place that had a locked door.

You watch as I rip the veil off my face

and become hollow.

Sunken in you see my bones

But I am too soggy like a wet rag to care.

Tug of war you watch as my mind and body

Pull my limbs like rope until I scream.Wide eyed

You tell me to go, that people are watching, people will think,

People will worry.

The headlights mark where I should be headed

 like a rock I do not budge. I sit watching whizzing

 cars fly down the street like fireflies and I wonder

If they would stop if I stood infront of them.

 what would you do? Watching streetlights hang

like falling stars you wish for another second,

another moment to  sit watch me sleep.

 

 

Alone in the Spotless Sky


Blood shot eyes look up at a spotless sky

Crickets quiet themselves enough to listen

Open there ears to hear the low moan of her

The outcry of help,regret.

But nothing would help her

Nothing ever could

The light in her soul has burned

And no love can find her in this

Spotless world.

20 years of waiting for someone to rock her

Coddle.

And only the breeze

Can keep her warm.

 

Saw of my writer friends yesterday, they always get me inspired. I feel like I need to practice, I’m losing my touch.

Sarah.

Preparing for Change.


I always wondered what it would be like to just one day, pack up all your things and leave and not even turn around to say goodbye.Last night Paul and I were talking about the coming months and for the first time ever in my life I was scared. I wasn’t scared because more time is passing and I am getting older, I was scared because in 6 months I will be leaving home for the first time to live on my own. Granted, I’ll be living in a dorm with a complete stranger but to me, It will be as close to being alone as I’ve ever gotten. I’ve been away from home before, like on vacation but I always came back to something familiar after a week of being gone but being away at school is not just a week, its months at a time.

I won’t be very far though, only 45mins away, but it is different. not being able to come home grab my clothes and go down the street to Paul’s will be strange. Not seeing my mom everyday or atleast being able to pop in at Acmoore or wherever she may be will be difficult.

Ive never been afraid of change. When I was younger I’d change my hair constantly. I never cried when they chopped It off because I’d know it would grow back in a few months and I’d be back in the salon getting it chopped off again. But In the last few years I was afraid of what fate will give me. What god thinks I can handle.I don’t want to miss out on a thing but I also want to be my own person and see what I want to see with the people I want to be with . I know these next few months will be preparing months and months after will be hard but if life was easy, no one would be pushing themselves to be better and I know I want to be better then I am today.

Complex and Content


Staring out the window

what

when

how

did one chapter flow into the next so beautifully

how chapters became strung together

like popcorn on string, where my life

was magnetized to another’s as if I was

the metal and I was just waiting by the phone

for him to stick to me.

I stare out the window

when did god ,fate ,the devil decide

that at this time I would find the treasure after years

of digging and coming up with nothing

except holes and scars.

the glistening gold against salt

gems jewels and you stare back

and I become so lucky

more then I even thought I was before

 

Just a little poem to start off a dreaded Monday, but hey already starting to plan next weekend and I already can’t wait :)

Sarah

One Day


we will be leaving

one day

to never look back at the streets we know so well

to the neon sign of the Wawa hanging in the air

one day

we will leave this town where it grew as we grew

and now it  seems too small

one day

we will say goodbye to familiar faces

kids of kids we played with in the yard

one day

we will drive up to a sign we had never seen

and smile because

one day

this will be our home.

Grind #7

I know its been a while but with now three jobs and a boyfriend and a family, I never get time for myself.

Life Changer.


you are a piece of me

like an pendent you sparkle

blinding strangers with your raze of grace you tower high

into this world look down and see nothing

specks of green,brown moving down highways but yet

you feel small,engulfed by crowds of screams and glassy eyes

they await for you

to feel your warmth as you shut the door

they long to move on but in that split second

they are with you

and their lives are changed forever

 

Today is my mom’s birthday and I can’t even tell you how many lives she touches and changes everyday. She is a wonderful women and I’m proud to call her my mom

 

Happy Birthday Mom!

 

Love Sarah.

Skinny on the Fourth of July!


Skinny on the Fourth of July!

Well yesterday was the fourth of July, and I like every year, I celebrated it with my family. This year however, my cousin Joan and I went to the beach instead of tubing down the Delaware like we did last year. When picking out what bathing suit I was going to wear I was hesitant because this is the first year I sported the bikini look. My whole life I was fat, but after hard work I lost 30 lbs! Granted, I gained some back but I’m trying to stay consistent but its hard when its the summer and you are going out and eating and there is chips everywhere. But anyway, I decided to wear my bikini to the beach because, who’s looking at me? I have a boyfriend, I’m not trying to impress anyone, I’m just going to spend time with my cousin. When going to the beach, I didn’t tell her I was wearing a bikini because I still wasn’t sure if I was going to take off my cover up at all. But, once we were all setting up  I found out she was wearing one too! I felt so relaxed because she had been working out hard for months and its paying off and she looks great! My cousin’s boyfriend took a picture of all of us.

It’s always a nice tradition to spend the fourth of July with my family and I can’t wait for next year to do it all over again!

Sarah

My Journey to the Last Frontier


Now that I’m back from Alaska I am humbled by the images I saw everywhere you look was like a picture everywhere you looked you saw these gorgeous mountains that I miss the most about being there. Some people wouldn’t think that Alaska would be a great place to go, or it is too far but I will say this, it was so worth it. After the  10 long hours in the plane, we greeted with this.

 and then I realized that is trip was going to be different.

With a 4 hour time difference from home I fell asleep the minuete I got there. The weirdest thing about Alaska however is that it never got dark there. The sun would set and then never go down.

This is from 11:00 pm granted the flash was on but you can see that you really didn’t need the flash at all. It was beautiful there and I really can’t even describe it because it was just breathtaking. Truly, enough with me talking about it. I think the pictures speak for themselves.

 

 

 

but there is one thing I need  to talk about, you all know I ate during my trip, but I did find the French Toast I’ve ever had.

 

 It was a stuffed French toast with a orange cream with raspberry butter. It was a place called the Snow City Café. It is voted the best Breakfast in Anchorage and I couldn’t agree more. So fabulous.

 

My trip to Alaska was really grand but I am glad to be home. Won’t be going on a plane for a while.

But it was so worth the trip

 

Sarah