Today is not a poetry day, but there is something I wanted to ask the world that I don’t know the answer to. Is taking a break in a relationship good or bad? In the last 24 hrs, two of my friends had discussions with their significant others on taking a break. Weather it would because one is turning 21 and doesn’t want to have the chain of a relationship around their neck while at the bar to because they were together for some time and they were arguing. In my opinion taking a break doesn’t mean breaking up, it means giving someone some time to get things done. I had this same conversation with my boyfriend a week ago, I told him we needed to take some time apart so he could get his shit together. There were other things going on around that that aren’t important but the point I’m making is that, your significant may be distracting you in getting what you need to get done, done. I can’t even tell you how hard it was to balance a boyfriend,my clubs that I run, my friends and finals week. Luckily my friends in my clubs took a bit of lead and my boyfriend was very supportive and let me have some time to just get my mind together and to study, even if it meant studying while sitting in his kitchen or making stuff for my clubs at his house. If I had a break during that time, I could see it being easier, but my relationship was somewhat new at that time and taking a break before month number 3 is never an option.
I think that breaks are necessary sometimes. Sometimes you need that break to realize how important your significant other is to you, how much they make an impact on your lives and how much you can’t live without them. I also thinking that taking a break maybe a bad thing because its just someones way of being a coward and not just ending what they in reality to be ended. I think taking a break can be good and bad, but I know the break has to be mutual because if its not then that’s just you getting dumped.
To all my friends thinking about taking breaks, reevaluate your relationship before making a decision.
While on Facebook today I was looking at all the stupid posts that are like this:
and I thought to myself… What the hell kind of world do we live in. Since when do these girls want these perfect boyfriends? In reality I’ve never met a guy who is like any of these things. My friend John is the nicest guy I know and even he isn’t like this. Every guy that I have ever talked to are not necessarily always the same, but at some point in their lives have been the same. It’s always like who having sex with the most women.. I don’t understand this competition because if chicks did this we would be considered whores.
I was talking to Scott the other night about chicks and I realized that men don’t love like women do. Men are very complex when it comes to their hearts. Women just know when they are in love. I know I did. But men are very different, they have to really look deep into the person, mind, body, and soul to figure out if she is worthy of their heart. I understand why men right write love songs now. They write them because its unbelievably more painful for men because men are careful and they still get shit on. When I fell in love, I took a big risk. I didn’t care if I was eventually going to get hurt. I knew at that moment nothing else mattered.
In a way men are very smart. I wish I actually assessed the situations in my life before giving my all to 1 person. It would save much heartache in the end that’s for sure.
Maybe one day a guy will realize they can trust me with their heart but I know its not now.
So my friend and I were talking yesterday about Love. As you can probably tell love is a huge topic in my life. I am really intrigued by love because it’s the most misinterpreted feeling ever. People may think they feel love, but in reality love is bigger than those 3 little words and honestly it really can’t be described.
When I watch those romance comedies I think “wow,that man really said i love you to that chick. He’s really got some balls” because men and the words “I love you” don’t usually go together. I was reading a post about this on thoughtcatalog the other day and it was about what is the best ways to say I love you and in reality there really isn’t the best way. I remember when I told someone I loved them for the first time I held my breath because I was afraid of the reaction and I also in shock that it came out. I remember I said it over and over in my head just so I wouldn’t mess up. So I wouldn’t have to repeat it. I don’t think I’ve ever been so vulnerable in my life when I said it. I unfortunately didn’t get an “I love you too” response but I wasn’t expecting it either. It was just something I had to say.
I think men are afraid of the words I love you because those words hold a world full of baggage. A commitment is enough baggage, and then you have to love them too? If you aren’t organized, than all your baggage will fall out of your hands and your relationship will fall apart too.
To me, you don’t have to say I love you to love someone. If you show them respect and you enjoy being around them than that’s love. I wrote another post about what exactly love is and it’s all about emotion.You don’t need to hold the door or buy me gifts. That isn’t love.
I think people don’t use “I love you” seriously. Kids/teenagers are throwing those words around like it’s a normal thing to say. I wouldn’t say “i love you” to someone if I didn’t mean it. If I am seriously telling you that I love you, I mean that I have given you my heart and you are mine and I will keep your best interest and I will be there for you, no matter what. When people say “I love you”, to me it’s like a promise. It’s a vow that you will always care about this person because this person has touched your heart in ways no one has before and you are acknowledging and appreciating them everyday.
I know people don’t say I love you anymore because now its lost a lot of meaning. It’s not the same as it used to be. I think it’s a shame that we have overrated love to the point where no one can say I love you. But I believe that you don’t have to hear someone tell you they love you, you just have to feel it.