I haven’t been in many relationships but I know enough that in every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve always cared a little too much about them. It goes with friends too. I’m always too nice. I always go above and beyond their expectations of me. I don’t know if people get scared of that but I am just showing my appreciation. But with guys I do the same. If I like them and they aren’t my boyfriend, I think it’s even worse. I always try WAY too hard. But I was reading Thought Catalog tonight and I was reading an article about The Ten Commandments of Friendship” and I thought I’d do a Ten Commandments of a Relationship. Mind you, I have broken all or most of these commandments. They are now commandments because I was bitched at by people after I did it. Some of them make the list because of other people and my observations of their relationships. If you’ve read my writing before, I am a hypocrite. If you guys have other ones you think should be on the list write them in the comment box.
Thou shall not take back the asshole that slept with your best friend: Love is Love. If love means getting over a tragedy like the person you love screwing your best friend in the bed you two slept in together then so be it. It takes a lot of time but if it’s meant to be, the relationship is strong enough to survive. But always know, he did it once… he can do it again, and don’t make the same mistake twice.
Thou shall not become psychotic-jealous: I have broken this commandment a million times over, but I’ve learn that just because you are sleeping with someone, doesn’t mean they are your property. They aren’t your pet. They are allowed to go out with their friends without telling you. They are allowed to shut off their phone for the night. They are allowed to flirt with other people. They are still an independent human being with rights. Don’t be their mom, it’s really unattractive.
Thou shall honor their wishes and NOT go through their phone: Yes, as tempting as it, you know you wouldn’t want anyone going through your phone. But going through phones (trust me) may lead to things you really don’t want to find out. It might hurt you in the end. If you really can’t trust your significant other, you really shouldn’t be with them.
Thou shall not become a sudden sex addict: We really don’t care about your sex life. If we wanted to sleep with him, we would have gotten him when he wasn’t with you. The response “Aw… that’s cute” only can be said a certain amount of times. We don’t need to watch you make out with your boyfriend while you’re with your friends. That’s kind of rude too. Please get the hint and stop rubbing it in our faces that we have to watch hours and hours of True Blood and have a porn collection and you’re getting laid every week and haven’t watched a second of porn in your life.
Thou shall not change for your significant other, no matter how hard it is.: If you like the San Francisco 49ers and they don’t, they can deal with it. They were attracted to the person who they met, not the person you are changing into just so you can have something in common with them. Some guys like the competition of opposing sports teams. It’s kind of fun. Trust me, I’ve never watched the WWE until I started seeing Scott and I am not going to lie and say it’s not the stupidest thing I’ve watched but I’ve strangely gotten into it. It’s not as bad as I thought, but it’s still stupid nonetheless.
Thou shall not become a spoiled brat just because you have a boyfriend: If you think men have money, especially if they are college students, than you are mistaken. If you think you are going to be getting dinners out left and right and new stuff from your boyfriend all the time you are kidding yourself. Men use their money for trips to the bar with the guys, maybe you once and a while, and food that is usually coming from a drive- thru. Just because he may call you princess, doesn’t mean you are a legit princess. He isn’t your servant, he’s your boyfriend.
Thou shall understand that Shit Happens: I think I’ve broken this commandment the most. I am the type of the person who likes a game plan and when it doesn’t go to plan I get very upset. After being ditched a number of times, I’ve learned to blow it off and find something better to do. It may be writing commandments of a relationship instead of having drinks and watching TV, but it was at least something. Don’t get all 5 year old on your significant other because plans don’t work out. Shit happens and plans change, there’s nothing you really can do but wait till the time comes when plans can work out.
Thou shall accept the fact that you may not marry this person: You may be head over heels in love with this person but understand that in life, there are unexpected turns that can change the way your life works. You may love them with every ounce of your being now but come five years and things might change. Don’t start looking at bridal magazines or ask your best friend to be your maid of honor. Don’t be Miley Cyrus and get engaged at 19, you have your whole life to grab asses and explore the sexual world. Don’t be like Kim Kardashian and get married and last 72 hours or something, that’s just called a party, not a wedding.
Thou shall not become an asshole to your girlfriend/Boyfriend around your friends: The one thing I hate the most about any relationships is that the guy or girl changes the way they treat you around their friends. I have gone through this with Scott and it is so annoying. One minute he will be like “oh, you’re so important to me” and once we see one of his friends he turns into “Mr manly man” Now when I see one of his friends I will walk in the opposite direction. I don’t need to be introduced or mentioned or anything. I know some girls who refuse to hang out with their boyfriend around their other girlfriends. Are you ashamed of your significant other? Do you not enjoy their company? If you don’t enjoy their company, than why are you in a relationship with them in the first place?
Thou shall understand that people need space: As a writer I understand this 110%. Sometimes you need to have mental health days or nights or weeks just to get your mind together. A simple “hey how are you” text is an awesome but please do not ask them to hang out. If your girlfriend needs a spa day with her girlfriends instead of catching dinner and a long mellow night at your apartment don’t fret. She will be relaxed and her toes will be a pretty shade of some color when you see her again. And girls, don’t get all pissy when they want to hang out with their friends at the bar till late, alone time works both ways, you can’t be a hypocrite.