Patience is Stronger than Love.

So the other day I was talking to my friend Mike about his relationship with his girlfriend. His girlfriend is from Brazil and they have been together for a little over six months. They are really cute together and I think he really loves her. It’s funny when you look at someone who is already in love and see the similarities and differences you have with them even though the feeling you both have for a different person is the same. He was telling me how at times he is unsure if he wants to stay with her when things get rough. She is a little older than him and sometimes she worries about the future will hold for both of us. My friend doesn’t think in the future, he only thinks in the moment, so he doesn’t really worry about those kinds of things. I guess living in the moment is a kind of good thing because you don’t have to worry about whats going to happen. I always have to have a game plan so living in the moment is not for me.

But as we were talking, he was explaining to me his relationship with him and his girlfriend. He does cute things for her like surprise her and show up at her house without notice. How him and her have movies weekends and they go to the movies all the time. She teaches Portuguese and he loves it. It’s being with a foreign chick thing. I’ve never been with someone who wasn’t american and I don’t think I’d know what to do if I was with a foreign person. But anyway, they do their own thing and its so cute.

But during our conversation, he said something that really got me thinking. He said that he doesn’t leave her because she is so good to him. He said he wasn’t ever going find someone who understands him like she does. I immediately thought of Scottie, of course. At times, I think that I deserve so much better than I have but at other times I don’t think that anyone would understand me like he does.Even though he’s crazy I enjoy how stupid and ridiculous he is. If he wasn’t a nerd or didn’t have conversations to his friends saying things like “No, I don’t want to be a Jedi” I don’t think I would like him. He would be boring, and I really really hate boring people.

People come into your life for a reason. It may teach you things like Portuguese or maybe its an even bigger lesson of patience. While being with Scottie, I have learned to be extremely patient because I would have already turned into a crazy bitch if I wasn’t patient.Patience is a virtue. It takes practice to be calm all the time. If I didn’t practice I would be disappointed and I would be selfish and crazy.

After a long night of changed plans dinner alone, I have learned that in life you just have to roll with what gives you. If tonight was meant for the gym and Keeping up with the Kardashians, than I guess  so be it.



The Ten Commandments of a Relationship.

I haven’t been in many relationships but I know enough that in every relationship I’ve been in, I’ve always cared a little too much about them. It goes with friends too. I’m always too nice. I always go above and beyond their expectations of me. I don’t know if people get scared of that but I am just showing my appreciation. But with guys I do the same. If I like them and they aren’t my boyfriend, I think it’s even worse. I always try WAY too hard. But I was reading Thought Catalog tonight and I was reading an article about The Ten Commandments of Friendship” and I thought I’d do a Ten Commandments of a Relationship. Mind you, I have broken all or most of these commandments. They are now commandments because I was bitched at by people after I did it. Some of them make the list because of other people and my observations of their relationships. If you’ve read my writing before, I am a hypocrite. If you guys have other ones you think should be on the list write them in the comment box.


Thou shall not take back the asshole that slept with your best friend: Love is Love. If love means getting over a tragedy like the person you love screwing your best friend in the bed you two slept  in together then so be it. It takes a lot of time but if it’s meant to be, the relationship is strong enough to survive. But always know, he did it once… he can do it again, and don’t make the same mistake twice.


Thou shall not become psychotic-jealous: I have broken this commandment a million times over, but I’ve learn that just because you are sleeping with someone, doesn’t mean they are your property. They aren’t your pet. They are allowed to go out with their friends without telling you. They are allowed to shut off their phone for the night. They are allowed to flirt with other people. They are still an independent human being with rights. Don’t be their mom, it’s really unattractive.


Thou shall honor their wishes and NOT go through their phone: Yes, as tempting as it, you know you wouldn’t want anyone going through your phone. But going through phones (trust me) may lead to things you really don’t want to find out. It might hurt you in the end. If you really can’t trust your significant other, you really shouldn’t be with them.


Thou shall not become a sudden sex addict: We really don’t care about your sex life. If we wanted to sleep with him, we would have gotten him when he wasn’t with you. The response “Aw… that’s cute” only can be said a certain amount of times. We don’t need to watch you make out with your boyfriend while you’re with your friends. That’s kind of rude too. Please get the hint and stop rubbing it in our faces that we have to watch hours and hours of True Blood and have a porn collection and you’re getting laid every week and haven’t watched a second of porn in your life.


Thou shall not change for your significant other, no matter how hard it is.: If you like the San Francisco 49ers and they don’t, they can deal with it. They were attracted to the person who they met, not the person you are changing into just so you can have something in common with them. Some guys like the competition of opposing sports teams. It’s kind of fun. Trust me, I’ve never watched the WWE until I started seeing  Scott and I am not going to lie and say it’s not  the stupidest thing I’ve watched but I’ve strangely gotten into it. It’s not as bad as I thought, but it’s still stupid nonetheless.


Thou shall not become a spoiled brat just because you have a boyfriend: If you think men have money, especially if they are college students, than you are mistaken. If you think you are going to be getting dinners out left and right and new stuff from your boyfriend all the time you are kidding yourself. Men use their money for trips to the bar with the guys, maybe you once and a while, and food that is usually coming from a drive- thru. Just because he may call you princess, doesn’t mean you are a legit princess. He isn’t your servant, he’s your boyfriend.


Thou shall understand that Shit Happens: I think I’ve broken this commandment the most. I am the type of the person who likes a game plan and when it doesn’t go to plan I get very upset. After being ditched a number of times, I’ve learned to blow it off and find something better to do. It may be writing commandments of a relationship instead of having drinks and watching TV, but it was at least something. Don’t get all 5 year old on your significant other because plans don’t work out. Shit happens and plans change, there’s nothing you really can do but wait till the time comes when plans can work out.


Thou shall accept the fact that you may not marry this person: You may be head over heels in love with this person but understand that in life, there are unexpected turns that can change the way your life works. You may love them with every ounce of your being now but come five years and things might change. Don’t start looking at bridal magazines or ask your best friend to be your maid of honor. Don’t be Miley Cyrus and get engaged at 19, you have your whole life to grab asses and explore the sexual world. Don’t be like Kim Kardashian and get married and last 72 hours or something, that’s just called a party, not a wedding.


Thou shall not become an asshole to your girlfriend/Boyfriend around your friends: The one thing I hate the most about any relationships is that the guy or girl changes the way they treat you around their friends. I have gone through this with Scott and it is so annoying. One minute he will be like “oh, you’re so important to me” and once we see one of his friends he turns into “Mr manly man” Now when I see one of his friends I will walk in the opposite direction. I don’t need to be introduced or mentioned or anything. I know some girls who refuse to hang out with their boyfriend around their other girlfriends. Are you ashamed of your significant other? Do you not enjoy their company? If you don’t enjoy their company, than why are you in a relationship with them in the first place?


Thou shall understand that people need space: As a writer I understand this 110%. Sometimes you need to have mental health days or nights or weeks just to get your mind together. A simple “hey how are you” text is an awesome but please do not ask them to hang out. If your girlfriend needs a spa day with her girlfriends instead of catching dinner and a long mellow night at your apartment don’t fret. She will be relaxed and her toes will be a pretty shade of some color when you see her again. And girls, don’t get all pissy when they want to hang out with their friends at the bar till late, alone time works both ways, you can’t be a hypocrite. 



A Mutual Feeling.

The love I have for you in indescribable

its like going to a place where you know you are destined to be

its like crying when you see your child for the first time

its an unbelievable feeling

its an uncontrollable feeling.

I know you’ve felt this before

but I know it wasn’t because of me

so I know you can relate.

It’s like you can cry because you have no idea

why your heart is beating and breaking

all at the same time.

You thrive to know answers

to dig deep inside your mind

to figure out why

when did this happen

and you come out with nothing

because only your  heart knows why and how it happened

But I am glad my heart chose you.

YAYAY I got a poem out of my system. WRITERS BLOCK FOR TWO WEEKS SUCKS!


I Really Don’t Need You, But it’s Nice to Have You Here.

So tonight I was scrolling through my Facebook News Feed and I came across to a status and comments that really was relatable to me. 

My friend said :”I don’t understand why people feel they NEED to have a boyfriend or girlfriend. I’m not judging but I feel people need to be comfortable with themselvesand be independent. I never once thought “oh my god being single sucks I need a bf.” I am happy being single & if someone comes around and changes that,that’s great, but I don’t sit around hoping and looking for a bf. These things come to you… Once you stop looking.”(Facebook,K.Schreiber)


    I was also talking to a few of my guy friends lately about relationships. I’ve been seeing someone for a while but that doesn’t make us boyfriend and girlfriend. It doesn’t make us “friend zoned” either.We are just “seeing each other” and if that sounds too old school than I don’t know how to explain it any other way. 

When I was in school ( preferably high school) I always wanted a boyfriend. I wanted a boyfriend because all the other girls had boyfriends.For a while, I thought I was just ugly because all the guys wanted the stick girls from the cheer leading team and than the nerds and the people who weren’t so popular started getting boyfriends and that didn’t make things even better. In high school, in your brain you think that  relationships are going to last forever. You start looking at prom dresses because you know you’ll have a date and than granted, a month after you start “dating” he breaks up with you over Facebook and you eat icing out of the jar  while watching a survivor marathon ( true story).You seem so heart broken at the time and every single woman empowering song by beyonce is like your anthem and you think no one gets you but honey please, they weren’t making songs about it if people didn’t feel it.

Before I started seeing Scott, I was single for a very long time. It didn’t necessarily “suck” but I’m not gonna lie and say I’ve never been extremely jealous. I always been so envious of these stupid girls with luxurious long hair wearing name brands across there flat chests.. Back then I thought guys liked girls with flat chests.I’ve had a chest since the fourth grade. Now I am starting to actually realize that men hate girls that look like boys.  Even those these girls had boyfriends at such a young age, in reality, these skinny bitches were getting hurt and crying and I wasn’t, so really I was winning

But there is one thing I’ve learned in the year I’ve been seeing Scott. It’s that you have to go with the flow. At times it may be a quick and it can fizzle quick or it can it start out slow and get better. Its different with every person you date. The longer you stay with a person, you start to realize how slow “the train” is going to be going. Me personally, I like a moderately fast train. I don’t wanna  to be with someone that I have work hard to be with them. Everything should be easy and many people forget that. When you work hard to get a boyfriend or to be with someone it most likely won’t happen very long. My mom always told me that it once the time was right and that when I stopped looking for someone, they would come to me, and of course my mother was right. I remember I wasn’t looking for anyone when I met Scott. None of my friends had boyfriends, I thought some guys were cute but I wasn’t perusing  anyone.Once you stop looking and just start being yourself, that’s when guys start to notice you. No one wants someone who’s a fake bitch. 

As I’m getting older I’m noticing the similarities of men and women. I have grown so much more respect for men and I don’t think they are all stupid and shitty,they mess up like women do,but  we just don’t do it publicly, and as often… HA! 




All That Matters.

You walk with me down the river bank
Your hand feels clammy
I look at you
You look nervous
I smile
I try to comfort you
Nervous is the last thing you should be feeling
I will make you see
That the simple things in life
Mean more than the bigger things
That a simple good morning
Could make your day
Or a kiss goodnight
Will help you sleep better at night
We start to run
Feel alive
Feel free
We are together
And that’s all that matters.


Inspired by the song Cough Syrup by Young the Grant.Apparently its really popular… I am extremely unaware of the new music out there..I’m stuck in the country world! 

Happy Rainy Monday!


Dating Rules: We aren’t living in the 1950’s.

After reading this ^ article, I have offically declared myself half dude. In my small nineteen years, 6 short years of it was in the dating scene. The dating scene in NOT fun at all. If you like being picked at from  under a mircoscope, the dating world is for you, but if you are like me who prefer to not be examined in and out, then the dating world is NOT for you. I am not one of those classy chicks, I guess one would call me trashy because I curse infront of my guy friends, I even curse infront of guys I am interested in. I am not going be a fake person just because I like you. Besides these Rules that are in the article, I am going to add a few more to the list.

6. Date Someone Around Your Age.: Men mature  much slower than women do. A man could be 30 and act like he is 17,18. But a woman who is 19,20 years old can act like she is 25 and it somehow it evens it all out.Men are really annoying no matter what age,but college guys are more annoying than High School boys. If you are in college and love a high schooler, it shouldn’t be frown upon. Having it be “socially accepted” is a bunch of bullshit. I think if you love someone they can be any age, any color, any size, any gender. It shouldn’t matter.

7.You Have to Bring the Guy Home: Absolutely not. When my mom was a teenager, her father would drag the guys out of the house and embarass the shit out of my mom. If they aren’t REALLY serious, and a just a “one and done” there shouldn’t be a reason that you should bring them home. I don’t think my father would drag a guy out of my house was long as they weren’t hurting me. My Dad lives in a house full of women, I think he likes the diversity, when it comes on rare occasions.

8. Wait for the Guy  to Ask You Out: In all my times of dating, I have NEVER been asked out. I have always made the first move because guys in New Jersey are little girls who are afraid of the ALMIGHTY WOMEN! We want the same you do, but girls like me, aren’t afraid to just say it. Maybe it’s an only child thing, I’ve just told my mom what I wanted. I sometimes didn’t get it, but I wasn’t afraid to tell her what I wanted. I am not afraid of guys. Guys are like chicks but their reproductive system is on the outside and they don’t get their period ( even though I know many  guys who PMS worse than me)

9.Don’t Kiss on the First Date: My mom always told me. ” Don’t ever kiss on the first date” Every first date  I’ve ever been on, I’ve always kissed them. It wasn’t like a tonsil hockey kiss, but there was always a peck or more romantic thing. You have to test them, if they aren’t a good kisser (I’ve had quiet a few of those)  than they aren’t getting a call back. Everyone has tests. My friend has a Roller Derby Date Test, but I keep mine simple. If you hate your mother, want to have sex with me the minuete after we start hanging out, and you are a terrible kisser than  you will probably never hear from me again.. and maybe if your a red head too ( don’t be offended gingers, I am just jealous of your beauty)

10.Play the Game: Fuck the Game. The Relationship Game, and having rules is a junch of bullshit. Be straightfoward because you are NOT going to get anything you want if you aren’t. If you don’t wanna have sex with them SAY NO… if  he or she is a decent human being, they will understand your wishes and respect them kindly. If you like someone just tell them, waiting around for them to figure out that you like them is the slowest most torturest process in the world. If you like someone, tell them. What is the least they are going to say “sorry I don’t like you like that, lets be friends instead” or ” your creepy” If someone calls you creepy for being straight forward, tell them that they aren’t going to get anywhere by playing childish games. It got old in 2007.

I hang out with ALOT of guys. I do this I am guessing because girls are all about the game. I am not into it. I think like this because its better to be brave and a risk taker. Then a coward and a chicken.

Everyone should read thoughtcatalog DAILY! ITS SO GREAT!!