Close my eyes


The boats hitting against the dock

and the low hum the water

slow beating of the heart


hearing wind whistling

in our pink ears

heat soaked into my skin

by him.

Grabs my hand and I am cold


Wondering if this worth


Putting on the armor

swinging the sword

Preparing for being




Yes, I’ve realized I haven’t been around in a long time. I took an unexpected hiatus, hopefully I will be back now.




Taking a Break.

Today is not a poetry day, but there is something I wanted to ask the world that I don’t know the answer to. Is taking a break in a relationship good or bad? In the last 24 hrs, two of my friends had discussions with their significant others on taking a break. Weather it would because one is turning 21 and doesn’t want to have the chain of a relationship around their neck while at the bar to  because they were together for some time and they were arguing. In my opinion taking a break doesn’t mean breaking up, it means giving someone some time to get things done. I had this same conversation with my boyfriend a week ago, I told him we needed to take some time apart so he could get his shit together. There were other things going on around that that aren’t important but the point I’m making is that, your significant may be  distracting you  in getting what you need to get done, done. I can’t even tell you how hard it was to balance a boyfriend,my clubs that I run, my friends  and finals week. Luckily my friends in my clubs took a bit of lead and my boyfriend was very supportive and let me have some time to just get my mind together and to study, even if it meant studying while sitting in his kitchen or making stuff for my clubs at his house. If I had a break during that time, I could see it being easier, but my relationship was somewhat new at that time and taking a break before month number 3 is never an option.

                I think that breaks are necessary sometimes. Sometimes you need that break to realize how important your significant other is to you, how much they make an impact on your lives and how much you can’t live without them. I also thinking that taking a break maybe a bad thing because its just someones way of being a coward and not just ending what they in reality to be ended. I think taking a break can be good and bad, but I know the break has to be mutual because if its not then that’s just you getting dumped.


To all my friends thinking about taking breaks, reevaluate your relationship before making a decision.



Yesterday I was talking to my friend about sex. When I was younger I never talked about sex, It was NOT in my vocabulary.  When people would talk about it, I would just brush it off and chuckle because honestly I had no idea what they were talking about. Now that I know what they are talking about, I have realized I jump at a conversation that consists of sex. Everyone has their opinion about sex. I don’t think I’d call it a controversial issue because everyone has sex, no matter what their opinion is on it.But there is deffinatly a mix basket of opinions on the topic.

I was researching online after my talk with my friend because I wanted to see other peoples opinions on sex.  My friends opinion is ridiculous but that’s my opinion. He thinks sex is something you must do to survive. Like a vampire sucking blood out of a human ( True Blood reference). But he is a guy and many guys and some girls think like that, but I am not one of them. During my research I found out that #1 little girls are experiencing sex, like girls who are 13,14 years old. Then they go online and panicking because they aren’t sure if they are pregnant. If you don’t know your body than you shouldn’t be experimenting with it. #2Many people are against sex to begin with. They will say “You can get pregnant anywhere ( which is true) and than your life is over so don’t even bother having sex.” If a young girl read that on the internet, it would scare the shit out of them. I also realized that so many people are trying to have kids and can’t and I feel so bad for them. There are so many young people who are getting pregnant and having abortions and some people who want children can’t even have them. I think god works in mysterious ways and sometimes I question what he does. Why won’t he give the people who want children and opportunity to get pregnant and not the people in broken homes or people who really aren’t ready?

I believe that if you are to have sex, you should be prepared  to make big decisions. After making the decision to actually have sex then you are mature enough to make decisions if god forbid you get pregnant.Everyone should have a choice to what they want to do, but they should expect the consequences of their decisions. I don’t think there is a good decision when you are pregnant and you don’t want to be. Either way, your life is going to change.

Now that I am getting older, some of my friends are getting pregnant or already have children. I am almost 20 years old. I don’t know what I would do if I was put in that situation. I guess you don’t know until the time comes.


Looking Through The Peephole.

You are behind a closed door.

It’s unlocked.

I can feel the knob turning in my hands

But I stop it.

I don’t want you see

The face of regret.

You look through the small hole

I hide my face.

You don’t have the privilege

To watch me die internally.

I stain your door with tears

As I mark it with a heart.

I sit on the porch

And let the cries echo

Throughout the silent town.

The booming of church bells

Create an ambiance

That only bells can make.

Your prized kill lays there waiting

To be mounted on the wall.

Please don’t mount me.

You don’t usually show off

the biggest mistake

Of your life.

I’ve been thinking about mistakes in my life. The things I’ve done in my short 19 years of life. I’ve made many mistakes. I already have countless regrets and I haven’t really been in real world yet.I hope things will get easier…. but I doubt they will.