the reasons.


You realized your life was over when she walked away

There was no time to grab her shoulder

To turn her around and smack her with your lips

There was not enough “I’m sorry”s in the world to fix this

She doesn’t want you now even though she thought

There wasn’t a world without you before

Too much time has passed and as you wait she falls in love

And gets everything you thought she deserved but was too scared

To give

She had never smiled so beautiful  or glowed so bright

When she was with you because she knew

It wasn’t forever even though it could have been

If she didn’t become a woman in one week

She cried harder then the worst of storms and you hid

Behind a stools and strangers to forget

One day she realized what she wanted

A quiet morning she left what she loved to move on

Running against the current she fought to not look back

But she was being sucked back like a vacuum that you were controlling

Pictures of regrets flashed into your head and you realized why

She wanted to go.

You let her

she is safe now

And you are a man

That will always be just

Misunderstood.

 

 

Thank you for everyone who clicks on my butterfly when they see it!

Sarah

Taking a Break.


Today is not a poetry day, but there is something I wanted to ask the world that I don’t know the answer to. Is taking a break in a relationship good or bad? In the last 24 hrs, two of my friends had discussions with their significant others on taking a break. Weather it would because one is turning 21 and doesn’t want to have the chain of a relationship around their neck while at the bar to  because they were together for some time and they were arguing. In my opinion taking a break doesn’t mean breaking up, it means giving someone some time to get things done. I had this same conversation with my boyfriend a week ago, I told him we needed to take some time apart so he could get his shit together. There were other things going on around that that aren’t important but the point I’m making is that, your significant may be  distracting you  in getting what you need to get done, done. I can’t even tell you how hard it was to balance a boyfriend,my clubs that I run, my friends  and finals week. Luckily my friends in my clubs took a bit of lead and my boyfriend was very supportive and let me have some time to just get my mind together and to study, even if it meant studying while sitting in his kitchen or making stuff for my clubs at his house. If I had a break during that time, I could see it being easier, but my relationship was somewhat new at that time and taking a break before month number 3 is never an option.

                I think that breaks are necessary sometimes. Sometimes you need that break to realize how important your significant other is to you, how much they make an impact on your lives and how much you can’t live without them. I also thinking that taking a break maybe a bad thing because its just someones way of being a coward and not just ending what they in reality to be ended. I think taking a break can be good and bad, but I know the break has to be mutual because if its not then that’s just you getting dumped.

 

To all my friends thinking about taking breaks, reevaluate your relationship before making a decision.

Sarah.

Waiting.


At this moment

This millisecond

I am the happiest

I will ever be.

You are far out into the distance

Where traffic lights are turning red

But yet some people,

including you, will go anyway.

I watch

snow

Kiss concrete so delicately,

Sipping warm coffee

Made just right.

You pants lay on the floor

A souvenir of your existence

Watching me

Screaming at

Me.

I walk over them

Like an uneasy bridge

Shuffling across the hardwood floor

Of mine,

Our

Apartment.

The clock ticks loudly

Hanging over my head

It counts the seconds

Moments

Till you are home again.

Things Left Unsaid.


Every time I hang out with my friend Shannon, we always talk about relationships. I’ve known Shannon since I was in elementary school and its awesome that we still hang out after all this time. We talk about our relationships and things happening in our lives and its really really nice. It’s like a release of everything that has been going on and taking a closer look at it. It helps me analyze not only her life and how I can help her make decisions,but how I can change my life for the better. 

Today we were talking about her new guy she was talking to and how everything is new to her now, now she is not with the same guy she was with before. I know that sounded complicated but there is a point to this madness. I think in relationships alone its all about taking it slow and I think thats how relationships fall short because not many couples do that anymore. I know this one couple that even after a week, they started saying “I love you” to eachother. Bitch please, you can’t love them if you don’t know them. Love takes time. You might be falling in love, but you’re not in love. Falling in love and being in love are two completely different things. 

I think this whole labeling of Boyfriend and Girlfriend are completely ridiculous also. I was talking to Scottie a couple of months ago and he said something that was accurate about relationships. He said that once you label something it starts to have rules,regulations and expectations and what’s the point of that if it will be the same if you just date the without those complicated rules. From the many guys I’ve talked to, I’ve noticed that they are terrified of the labels. It frightens them because now they are locked down. They have to be the ass kisser.

You don’t need to put a name on it to make legit. If you care about the person there is unspoken regulations anyway. I don’t know why there has to be a novel written of rules of how to be in a relationship and what or what not to do while you’re in one. People make it complicated and everything should be simple. 

As I walked through Red Bank tonight alone, I watched as a couple held hands while walking out of the movie theater  I wondered how long it took to get where they were standing and how difficult the road they traveled was. I wondered if the man was a nice guy or if that date to the movies was just a fluke moment in the relationship.I wondered if the girl was happy or if she was only in the relationship because she was afraid to be alone. I wondered if they had a label or their feelings and thoughts were unsaid….

 

 

sarah.

Please Don’t Kiss Me


Relationships. I’ve always hated that girl who would purposely kiss her boyfriend in front of people. In a way it angered me because why do you have to broadcast to the world you are in a relationship? Why does it have to be broadcasted over the internet? I’m not into PDA but I know ALOT of people who are. My friend Sean and his girlfriend have been going out for 6 months. She’s 16, and He’s 17 and they are really happy together but every time Sean sees someone staring at them, he’ll like hug her or something,like he’s afraid someone is going to take her away from him. No one is going to take her away from you Sean, cut it with the act. 

When I was in high school, I remember I was going out with  this guy…. lets call him “LawnChair”.LawnChair was a really skinny guy with long legs and blonde hair. I guess back than that was my type.. now… not to much. But Anyway, LawnChair and I met in the 8th grade and didn’t start going out until my sophomore year of High school. It wasn’t your typical relationship to say the very least. I like I was the guy and he was the girl in the relationship. He was a really soft spoken who in a way was too awkward for my liking but I kept the relationship  going because there had to be a glimmer of hope for him, and I also cared about him alot. I remember he would try to kiss me on the bus ride home and I would hate it because I didn’t want everyone to know blatantly, that we were together even though they already knew. We held hands in the hallway but I didn’t really liked doing that either. The other PDA that I didn’t really mind was when noone was in the hallway but a few people and I kissed him before he went to class, I didn’t mind that because it was only a few people. I wasn’t that chick who would flaunt her boyfriend around like a new purse.

The other night I was in Red Bank with Cheekz, we were walking in Riverside Park and these two people were making out right in the park. I was flabbergasted. Can’t you wait till you get in your cars or go to your house or something? I don’t need to put my relationship status of Facebook or twitter or speak to the world. If I love someone, everyone doesn’t need to know. I don’t need to grab your penis in public to prove to you that I love you. 

A few months ago a friend of mine was telling me how wrong it was that I don’t like kissing in her public. I told that some relationships are different than others. The relationship I’m in now is a strange and surprising one to say the very least.I don’t need to walk around and cuddle and shit in public. When I see two people out to dinner eating outside over candlelight, that’s exactly the amount of PDA I would want. It’s enough to say “yes they are dating” but not enough to say “after dinner she may or may not get laid”. Thats the line, don’t have sex in public, even if its a little bit scandalous, don’t. The general public doesnt want to see it. 

The other night while driving home from Scott’s I thought about girls and PDA and stuff and I was reminded that not every person is the same. People like to keep their shit to themselves and I respect that greatly. I like to keep some things to myself but if something is bothering me or weighing on my head, I am going to say something I can’t handle the pressure. Some girls want the affection all the time. They want to feel wanted. I know I’m wanted because he wouldn’t keep me around if he didn’t feel that way. The point I’m trying to make is that you don’t need to kiss on a school bus, or hold hands down the street just because you are in a relationship. It’s the simple things like a kiss good night when your half sleep or a simple “Night” text because I think when they think about you when you’re not around, that’s when you know they care.

It was a nice sleep last night.I just wish my dreams were reality. 

sarah.