I Don’t Bleed Red.

Yesterday I visited my friend Brandon at Rutgers University, I had never been to a four year school before. I went to Monmouth University once, and I liked it because I didn’t have to sleep in the dorms. My cousin had a house about a block away from the campus. It didn’t feel like college. I never felt the college experience before… well before yesterday. Driving onto Busch Campus, I was pleasantly surprised by the lack of “ghettoness” in the area. If anyone who  doesn’t know  Rutgers,  people say they are known for their STD infestation and their parties. I saw none of the above. My friend is in the engineering department. All I can say is that i DID NOT fit in. Those kind of people are whole different species, I swear. I’ve never seen anything like it in the my life.

I only saw 1 remotely attractive guy… it was a slight disappointment. But as the hours of the night progressed I was in dire need of alcohol because the people I was with were not my cup of tea, because I am so used to hanging out with writers.My friend had changed and he wasn’t the same guy I knew my whole life. It kinda was disappointing, but I know I have changed too.

Enough about the people, the campus on the other hand was beautiful. The downside of the campus itself was that it was HUGE! I got lost just trying to find a parking spot. It was ridiculous. You have to drive from campus to campus. There are classes on all the campuses and there are 4 or 5 campuses. It was crazy! You couldn’t really walk to anything besides the student center, which didn’t really make any sense because not many people have cars on campus but yet they make it so far away.. I didn’t understand that.

As my friend gave me the tour of the Livingston Campus,  it was alot nicer than the Busch Campus. There were fountains and shit and the dining hall was really cool. They had  a little pub thing and there were of people there. It was cool, but it wasn’t Brookdale. It was too detached. Brookdale is very cozy, well to me it is.Livingston Campus is for the Buisness majors. It seemed stuffy, I wasn’t smart enough to even be seen with them, I felt like.

As I walked to my car this morning, I felt like these people didn’t think I was smart enough. They were engineers. I am a writer. I love being a writer. Writing is my life. Chemistry, Physics,Ethics, and philosophy are things I really DO NOT give a shit about at all. I am curious about what life has in store for us, but I don’t care about alot of things. I don’t care about organic chemistry. These people are NERDS. I am not a nerd. I feel cool because i am writer. I wouldn’t wanna be anything than what I am.

People take unimportant things so serious. Like in the real world, why would one need to know about physics. Like C’mon. If you were getting mugged knowing how to compound atoms is definatly not going to save you. Being logical and witty yes will, but being book smart is not going to help you in the real world.

I think alot of people look down on me because I am a writer. People don’t want to persue writing as a career because its a starving art form, but I say bullshit. If I love what I do, then I am going to do what I love to do and make shit money, than do something that I am not passionate about make millions of dollars.

Money to me is not a big deal. If I can afford gas in my car, food in my stomach and coffee on my lips, than I am content. I do go out my buy 500$ purses. I don’t even use a purse. I wear the same flip flops with all my outfits. I have been wearing the same pair of flats for a year and half now. I got them for 12.99 at payless and they are still holding strong. I have a computer I’ve had for 6 years and its still kicking. I don’t have a fancy Mac. The only real fancy thing I have is an Iphone. It makes things easier for me. I can show people my work with a touch of a button. I tend not to get lost as much anymore. I can get a hold of people really easy now. I am in the loop more. It’s also good for school because I can manage my school work on my phone. I send emails to my professors instantly.

But anyway, going back to Rutgers. As I look back at my temporary stay at Rutgers, I am so grateful I go to Brookdale. It is a great start. You learn how to be in a college environment and the courses are alot cheaper and if you fuck up a little bit, its really not a big deal. You get used to what colleges expect and the people and the connections you are going to meet. I Love College, it was the best decision I ever made by going. I think I would have hated it if I had to live there already. I enjoy living home. I don’t have to share a room with a complete stranger.. that is weird.

another year and a half until I am done with brookdale.I don’t want it to go fast :(



The Holes in Our Pockets.

Today I heard a story from a guy I never thought had a story to tell. He was the surfer guy in my High school that I would always wave to every morning in the parking lot, before walking into the dreaded hell we called high school where we would learn how to sell drugs and not get caught and how to skillfully skip class so you could have a cigarette. But entering college and seeing some old faces in classes, I got to know them more. Facebook really shows you how annoying people are, but this guy was different. I didn’t like him if that was what you were thinking. Today he shared to my writing class about his life. He opened his heart to a class that barely knew him. I thought it was amazing. I have written work in my writing class that has helped me in the grieving process and move on in my life. I think this writing class happened at the right time in my life. I was going through terrible things and without this class; I don’t know how I would have been able to begin to cope.

Today I went to the doctor and it made me realized one thing, not everyone gives a shit about your health and how the rest of your life is. They strictly want you money and that is pretty it. It’s kind of sad. If I was a teacher or a doctor I would care about my students and my patients. I would treat them like human beings instead of a dollar sign. It bothered me some. I sat in the office where about twenty other women sat and we were all just dollar signs sitting in chairs. It frustrated me. I don’t want to be known as a dollar sign, I am a human being.

Everything now costs money, it is surprising how much things cost now a days. Gas prices are almost 4.00 a gallon, a pack of cigarettes are 8.00, a small coffee is almost 2.00. It’s crazy. Can’t the world be priceless for one day? Our necessities…. Well my necessities are expensive, I have to spend 20$ a day, that’s nuts. I could be giving it to people who actually need it, and not in the government’s pockets.

Why can’t the world realize we all have problems in our lives and give us a break and stop ripping us off? Everyone has a story, an excuse; can’t the world be easier for humans? But I will answer my question. If the world was easy, we wouldn’t learn anything and we would all be weak and brain dead.

I am sorry I didn’t post this yesterday, my internet kicked out. It was a depressing time for me. Thank god I have an iPhone.