Close my eyes


The boats hitting against the dock

and the low hum the water

slow beating of the heart


hearing wind whistling

in our pink ears

heat soaked into my skin

by him.

Grabs my hand and I am cold


Wondering if this worth


Putting on the armor

swinging the sword

Preparing for being




Yes, I’ve realized I haven’t been around in a long time. I took an unexpected hiatus, hopefully I will be back now.




I want to fuck my editor.

I want him to plant his seedinto every word

fertilizing it with red ink and anger.

stroking the pen against paper delicately,

making me feel fizzy

But flat.

Ripping off my top and deleting it

so he can take a look at the similies and metaphors

sucking them till they pop. He’ll scan it

analyzing every muscle, every tense spot.

“work from the bottom and up each stanza”

I crouch down and look down at his tan bare feet

and think

Maybe we can make this ours

A little sexy Ars Poetica…

Wanted to thank for nominating me for my first award. It’s an amazing feeling to be recongized. I try to write poetry thats not all love poetry and when I do challenge myself and someone notices I really appreciate it. Thank you Eric!!

Ars Poetica

2013,The Unknown.

Hi everyone:

So its been a really long time since I’ve written on here and I wanted to apologize for my absents. Working around the clock and going to school and also trying desperately to have a social life is alot to do for 1 person, especially around the holidays. I hope everyone had a great christmas and a new year filled with much fun.

Now that 2013 has started, I honestly think that this year will be the year of change. Change that I personally am not ready for. For my whole life I hated change, I hated friends leaving my life and me having to start over again with different people and me telling them the same stories I told the last friend. Your life gets sorta boring when you are telling people the same stories and you get the same reaction. But this year I have a feeling that I will change even more then last year, and I know it will be painful and hard just like it was last year. But if I can get through 20 years of living and learning than I can get through another year just fine.

When a new year starts I always look back on myself a year ago to the day January 4th 2012, what was I doing, what was I feeling. I remember feeling like something was about the change, that I was going evolve into a different person and come spring, I wasn’t the same person I started the year out to be. I was a stronger individual with passion an inspiration going through my veins. I was confident and thought I could conquer the world. But that fizzled out by the fall and pretty soon I was back to being me,the old me.

I hope the old me will fizzle out soon, I hope I learn more this year and I hope  this year doesn’t bring hardships, but even though I hope, it will happen because there wouldn’t be triumphs without hardships first.

I will be writing more, I promise.


Why She Smiles.

I look at this woman
With a bobbed haircut and stained jeans
And think
How can she be so happy?

Her world is crumbling around her
But she is happier than I
Will ever be.
She places her two children on a bus
And wave to them as they leave
They don’t notice the tears
Rolling down her face
They notice her bright smile
illuminating the never ending gloomy day
And that is all.
But that is not what I see
I see a mother I could never be
I see a guilty woman
Who blames herself everyday
For the outcome of her children’s lives
Her hard exterior sheds
whenever they aren’t around
She doesn’t want them to see
how much it kills her
that they can’t be normal.

She sits on the sidewalk
with her head in her hands
She screams
” Our Father,thou art in heaven”
Like She thinks prayers
will take her to heaven
But she doesn’t know
with every breath she takes
Her ticket to heaven
Is already waiting for her

I am a bus aid on a handicapped bus for children with special needs. I met one of the moms the other day and she really got me inspired. I could never be her. I pray I will never become her. But I admire her greatly. 

Be thankful for what you have and who you are, your life could be a million times worse.