Only with Time.

I wish you the best

but on the inside

I hope you cry yourself to sleep

clutching onto tear soaken pillows

wishing things were better

wishing we were better.

Time

everything takes time.

I look out the window

and think how you can move on with life

without me in it.

how those memories could just fade

into the blue cloudless skys

that shine down on you.

how my smile or  laugh

doesn’t come flashing through your brain

whenever you hear our song.

but in this short time

you have blocked me out of your world

a place where in the first place

I didn’t belong.

but with time

your smile and your laugh

will fade out of my head

whenever I hear our song

and you will fade out of my heart

along with it.

I’ve come to a realization, and with time I will feel better about my decision but hating a person isn’t going to change anything, so whats the point.

sarah.

Your Failed Attempt.

I hate you

I hate  every ounce of your being

From your chipped nail polish on your big toe

To your crooked cartilage piercing

You just had to do yourself.

I hate how I can’t get over the fact that

You’re happy at all.

Or that you’re  even alive

Breathing in the same world I am.

You did the unthinkable

The unacceptable act

That for a normal person

Wouldn’t have ever

Crossed their mind.

So now I sit here

Alone

Heartbroken

Scared for what you are going to do next.

For the next jab in the heart

And laugh at the end.

But I will patiently wait

Wonder

Contemplate on

What you think will hurt me

Even more than this.

But trust me

Nothing in your wildest dreams

Will ever compare

or even come close

to what you’ve already done.

Living life in the truth is harder than living your life through lies.

sarah.

Afterlife.

We look down at your grave

The flowers are already dead

I question your actions

your vindictive humor

I see your silhouette behind the tress

You seem uglier than I remember

Your tattered T-shirt and jeans

You are looking out at the horizon

Hoping, wishing, dreaming

Of the something you will never have

You exhale smoke

As it flouts up into the stale air

I hear your mother crying

But I don’t think you care

You turn to me and grin

Your eyes are solid

Like the stone you lay under

Rain begins to pour

You look up at the clouds

You’ve caused this

And the world will never see

Light again.

Inspired by this band I’ve just heard of called “The Sick Puppies” I only like the song Pitiful. 

Nothing Like a little Emo shit to start the weekend off right…haha!

Sarah. 

Misunderstood.

I love you

I love you too much I think

Because every time I think of walking away from you

I get instantly pulled back into your grasp

It’s not that I don’t like being there

It’s that you deserve better.

You are afraid of commitment because

You are looking for someone

That is impossible to find.

I have found a human being inside you

That I wouldn’t be afraid

To feel for

To care for

Each and every day of my life.

The fact that I can sleep peacefully in your arms

Is something that I thought I’d never be able to do

With anyone.

People don’t understand

How I could love someone

Who doesn’t really care

But I say, you don’t know him like I do.

You don’t know how beautiful he is when he sleeps

Or how painful it is to hear him sick

Or how wonderful it feels to have his cold moist lips against yours.

Maybe if they felt this they’d understand

But I doubt they would.

I’m not Complicated, I Just have Scars.

I look at you wondering

if you don’t give a shit

than why do you read

Why do you listen

to the music my words make?

The problem is my body

is internally infected

bloody, oozing with puss.

For some strange reason

you find beauty in the meanless words

that come out of my foul mouth.

You long to skim

through a notebook noone sees.

You don’t  understand things about me

because there are things you don’t know.

but If you knew them

you would say

“you’ll get over it”

and leave it at that.

You would fail to reconize

that a healing heart takes time.

You fail to grasp the fact that

you don’t know grief

until you expereince it

everyday.

So I write that way I do

because the blood

that pours out of my fingers tips

comes from soul

and no other place but.

The Ultimate Failure

Ashes my Love.

You see its a lot harder

Than I thought

It would be.

Not seeing you

Every hour,minute,second

Of everyday

watching you grow

And learn new things

When a new day comes.

You have slipped into a

Different world

Where I cannot

Hold or touch you.

The human being

I created

Has now slipped

Into the moist dirt

where roots twist

Around your limbs

As if they are suffocating

Your spirit

And keeping you

Away from me.

I’d rather escape this

Wicked world

Where the flowers die

Whenever I touch them

Then to never see you

Again.

The world isn’t fair .

You should of watched me die

Instead I am sitting in

A pool of your blood

With your limp body

In my arms.

Nothing will ever change

The fact

That as your mother

I failed

Because I am still here

And you are no longer.

…. It’s one of those nights. 

Sarah.