Fade Into you

So I’ve been watching the new show Nashville on Abc. As much as I don’t like Hayden Panettiere, I really love this show. The music in show is amazing and this song is my favorite. It’s so sassy and sexy. Even though this show is extremely dramatic, and I have enough of that in my life, I really enjoy just sitting on my recliner after a long hardworking week and flip on my ONDemand and see this show waiting for me. It’s a guilty pleasure, but so are all my shows..

Have a great Monday!


Lights, Camera, Baby?

Lately I have been watching lots of reality tv and I honestly haven’t a clue why. I’ve been sick for the last few days so I was forced to stare at the TV  realizing why I never stare at the TV. Besides the exceptions of True Blood, Sex and the City and a few others, I am astonished of how much vomit is on television. I also realized why people watch these stupid reality shows too. Once you start watching one, you have to watch all of them. My first mistake was the Kardashians and than I  stumbled upon Teen Mom and it got me thinking, since when was getting knocked up glamorous?

I remember when I mom would tell me stories about her childhood. She would tell me that it was a worst possible thing to do back then was to get pregnant without being married. Now in this day, getting pregnant at a young age of 15 is the new trend. Girls are now getting TV shows. I find it appalling.I understand that most of these girls are usually rednecks and trashy but there are some of those girls who are pretty classy. They are all over the tabloids like they are celebrities. Since when does popping out a kid make you a  celebrity? If it was like that, than the entire world would be celebrities…

I don’t know when it became socially accepted to have a kid so young. I was talking to one of my cousins a few months ago and one of her friends friends had a kid at 16. 16! You are still a kid at 16! You are self centered and worried about your chipped finger nail polish and what you should wear to school, not a baby.  A 16 year  old don’t even have their own rights, what makes them have the authority  and responsibility  to raise a child?A 16 year old should not being having sex to begin with. 16 in my eyes is like a baby. I remember the guy I was with at 16. Never in a million years would I want him to the be father of my child. Absolutely not. You are just starting to form into your body at 16. From the ages from 12-16 you don’t know what you are doing with your body and now that kids are hitting puberty so early in their lives, they are more at risk of getting pregnant at a younger age. According to The Center for Disease Control says that one-third of girls get pregnant before the age of 20.I can’t say I never worried about it. I ‘ve wondered what I would do if I was ever put in a situation like that. I know I deffinatly wouldn’t want a reality show that’s for sure.

Now that I am 19, I have a pretty clear head on my shoulders. I know that making right choices should be the top priority. But in a situtation like that, what is the right choice? I think the girls on Teen Mom made a wrong choice by  putting their young children on national television. Do you know how much shit those kids are going to get when they get older and not on the air anymore. I mean I have no doubt that half of the shit on those shows are scripted but it will haunt you for sure, no matter how false it was. You put your kid infront of a camera and put your kid to work just because you couldn’t use a condom? I remember the first season of teen mom they told the viewers how to not get pregnant and that getting pregnant isn’t glamorous. But now, please… its all drama. I must say if you really look at it from an adult perspective, the happiest couple on that show is Caitlyn and Tyler and they gave up their baby up for adoption because they knew that they couldn’t provide a good home for their baby. Do you see Maci, Amber or Farrah happy? and they kept their child.

If you are going to get pregnant at a young age, you should have parents that are supportive. I know if I ever got pregnant and decided I wanted to keep it  I know that my mom would respect any decision I would make. never in a million years would my mother be like Farrah’s mother. She would help me the best she should. She wouldn’t judge and she would be there, just like she always has. When I was six years old my cousin Joe who was 20 years old had a child. I don’t think I’ve ever loved a human being like a love Juliana ( his daughter) she is 6 years younger than me and we had the tightest bond growing up. As a family, we came together and supported my cousin and his daughter and still do.

I saw Juliana today and she is now 13 growing up by the day. Its like time has flown by because she is so much older now.I wonder if my cousins look at me like that. They watched me grow up from when I was born. I’ve watched Juliana grow into a beautiful young teenager and I love her more and more each and everyday.

I think that anyone can a have baby if they have a good supportive family. Family is the core, and I think these realitly shows like Teen Mom or the Kardashians have ripped families apart. Look at Jon and Kate Plus 8.Even though Kate Goslin was a flaming bitch, the whole show ripped them apart. You don’t need to have a kid to be on tv or 8 in that matter.

People live life with 5 kids and going through life without a camera in their faces. My friend has 9 siblings and she isn’t on Tv. No matter how many kids you have, don’t expect a TV show. You are not going to get it.

Thank god I’m better, no more Teen Mom and Kardashians for me….


Classy, Never Trashy.

Today I was thinking back to my High School days and I must say, being in college is a hell of alot harder mentally than high school. In high school you don’t think about money, a job, gas, ways to get financial aid and all that shit. Your biggest concern is whether or not you’re going to have a date to the prom. I was talking to my old friend Stephanie a couple of days ago and she was catching me up on her life because I hadn’t seen in her god knows when. She was telling me all about these guys who liked her and all this shit. She was going on and on about how much her life is wonderful and her boyfriend is wonderful but she isn’t sure if he’s cheating on her and blah blah blah. As I was continuing to listen, I was realizing that her life has absolutely NO substance. She has no troubles in her life but yet she is still trying to find out something bad in her wonderful situation. Granted, sometimes when my life begins to turn awesome, I am waiting and in some ways hoping something shitty happens because life isn’t suppose to be awesome all the time.

I was watching Keeping up with the Kardashians for many hours yesterday and I noticed that they blow the littlest things completely out of proprotion. Like just because Khole isn’t hanging out with you, doesn’t mean she hates you. I don’t know why I watch that show besides that I was waiting for Sex and the City to come on after and there was nothing else on. Reality TV is stupid, like how can you become famous by having a camera man follow you around in your pj’s?

I don’t think I’d want to be a TV personality. I wouldn’t want every single detail of my life aired on national television. There are somethings in my life that I would much rather keep private. I don’t even like when people watch me fight or if I’m fighting in public, its just embarrassing. People don’t have any class anymore.

Living in my neighborhood, I’ve realized that people DO NOT have class at all. They’d rather walk around with no bra on and mow the front lawn than to actually look decent in public. I don’t cut the lawn, I actually don’t have much lawn but if I did,I would atleast put a bra on.

People should present themselves better, maybe they’ll actually get treated with respect.


Putting the Red in Red, White and Blue.

Tonight I was watching one of those 48 hr Hard Evidence shows, and one episode was about how the fellow soldiers of this man, killed him 3 days after he got home from Iraq.They stabbed him 32 times. This man was a solider and he still couldn’t defend himself. All the training in the world couldn’t save him. He survived the war, but couldn’t protect himself from his own people. I think that’s pretty fucking sad.

Recently there has been a number of shootings in the US. People on college campuses, Islamic schools, movie theaters, being bombed because of religion or race or just because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time..According to a friend of mine who’s brother lives close to that  shooting at the Islamic school  said “that the people at the Islamic school were one of the nicest, most ill-harming people and they did not deserve to die.”

I just don’t understand why people have to kill other people? We are all Americans, its like we are shooting one of our own. I don’t understand why people have to run into movie theaters and colleges just to kill people. Look at Columbine and Virginia Tech? Why should we feel frightened to go to school. Are we getting paid to be in danger?

When I listen to these stories about these major shootings, I question the parents of the shooters. Where the hell were they their whole lives? Why in the hell would you not know that your son is capable of shooting down an entire movie theater and boobietrapping apartment buildings and planning it out. Behavior like this doesn’t just come out of blue. This kind of behavior has layers and the more gruesome the killings were, I believe is how thick these layers go.

When I was in elementary school, I had a boy in my class that would constantly bang his head on the table. He was not mentally disabled, as in autistic or anything, he would just get aggravated and bang his head on the table. I later found out that his father would abuse his mother in front of him. He later in high school, made a hit list and gave out sleeping pills to students pretending they were tick tacs.This boy wasn’t a mean person, in reality the bully should be last person you talk to in situations like these. You go back to the quiet ones because they have the time and patience to really think out plans and strategies, unlike the bully who really just likes to hear his own voice.

When I was in middle school, we had many bomb threats. I remember we would have to sit outside as the bomb sniffing dogs would raid our school. The stupid teenager would get arrested and we would go along with our day. I remember the fear in the teachers eyes has they tried to keep us calm. At times we didn’t know if it was real or just a drill. I didn’t live in a bad neighborhood, but the kids were and still dangerous. I can’t tell you how many kids I know that are in the newspaper in the police blogger section ( its a really awesome section). I went to court a few weeks ago, it wasn’t a big deal but as I waiting for my name to be called, I started listening to the other people.Who were there and why, damn it was interesting. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Some of them were for domestic violence, or battery, or possession of a unlawful weapon. An unlawful weapon is like an unregistered gun. These people who were there were just from the three small towns around me. I seriously couldn’t believe it. These people looked like ordinary people. I’ve never noticed how easy people could hide secrets. For all you know, your best friend could be a murderer.

I believe people trust other people way to much. I know some people who don’t even lock their doors. It’s like are trying to get killed? I make sure my car doors are locked when I get in. I make sure I lock all the doors in my house.You never know what will happen when your sleep.

I’ve watched enough cop shows to know that NO ONE, not even the people you think you know, can be trusted. Because who knows, they can be a completely different person once they leave your presence.

Ps. I got a ticket for my expired registration and car insurance, and also for riding a shoulder. Nothing too exciting.


When the TV Talks To You

So today I was watching Sex in the City and I am strangely fascinated by this show. Not because the Beautiful Sarah Jessica Parker is in it (I’ve always had a hidden lesbian crush on her) it’s that the show is about the hearts of 4 woman. They go through ups and downs with men of all shapes and sizes but they will always have each other and I find that pretty incredible.

               The other reason I like Sarah Jessica Parker’s role as Carrie Bradshaw in this TV series is because her profession of having a blog. Her blog is pretty much about life with men and the hardships of woman and of life. When I started writing this blog I didn’t know that my life was going to be broadcasted to the world, I didn’t think anyone would read it. Now I have 80 followers and 100’s of likes and its all because of Sex in the City ( well at least some). Carrie Bradshaw’s blog  has been my inspiration in creating and doing my own blog. I feel like I can connect with this character because she sees life in the same way I do. Her life may be completely different than mine, but she has the same process as I do. At the end of the day I sit down and really analysis my life. Sometimes I am not as successful and there are many sleepless nights of me just thinking  but I try just to think about the lessons I’ve learned each day, just like the ending of every Sex in the City episode.

               It’s funny how TV shows can really change your life. I’m not gunna lie and say that True Blood is consuming my life and sometimes I am convinced there has to be vampires in the world. Yes I know that is a little strange, but besides that the character Sookie Stackhouse has showed me that the way I feel is normal. When you love someone, it’s like you are strangely connected to you and they know when they need you the most. They can sense that you are in danger, just like Bill does whenever Sookie is in trouble. I know movies and shows are supposed the make you feel entertained but in some shows and movies I sometimes feel like I connect with these characters in ways that no one can. Its like they are talking to me. It’s like when you’re at a sermon at church and you feel like the priest in talking to just you. That’s what its like, and whoever writes these lines, as a writer myself I am proud.


Let the Games Begin!

Since tonight was the Olympic opening ceremony I wanted to say to all my followers from  all different countries good luck in the games and may the best team win! Tonight my cousin had an opening ceremony party. We are from USA ( hence my patriotic pants) we all had to come dressed up in our athletic clothes ( my cousin was Michael Phelps) or representing a specific country  . My cousin always thinks of the best ideas. We also had food from all over the world. From Chinese rice to tea and crumpets.My aunt dressed up as the queen of England, it was  too funny.

We all had a great time, and it was a great way to get the family together…even if we dress funny..

May the best team win!



My Love For True Blood…

My love for True Blood is becoming a problem….

For the past month or so, my mom has started watching the true blood tv series. In the beginning she wouldn’t let me watch it because of all the nudity but I’m almost twenty years old, a little bit of tit isn’t that big of a deal. I told her that I’ve seen the human anatomy enough in my life to know and that seeing someones ass cheeks wasn’t going to disgust me.

In any HBO series there is always a ton of nudity. I think they just throw a pair of naked boobs in the show just because they can. But I’ve realized that most of the fabulous shows are on HBO and now that I’m old enough to #1 understand the concepts and #2 look beyond the nudity without laughing like a 10 year old, I’m starting to gravitate towards those kinds of shows.

Right now, my mom and I are watching the tv show called True Blood. It’s about Sookie Stackhouse a telepath, and her journey through life in her town of Bon Temps. This town is a vampire town where she meets her boyfriend “Vampire Bill”. This town has a vampire bar (Merlotts) that is owned by the extremely handsome shape shifter, Sam.This TV show  has sucked me in and made me love and hate each and every character. There are so many story lines in this one show that one would get confused but at some point, they are all connected together.

Before True Blood became True Blood, It was a book series by the author Charlaine Harris. I’ve never read these books but my mom has. She would highly recommend. This series is amazing because everything is described in great detail and you really get to know the characters in not just the show but the book themselves. My mother loved the books so much that she was thrilled when she found about True Blood.

I think all should watch True Blood, its an amazing show and the screen play is impeccably written…

I don’t usually watch TV series and I don’t usually like anything vampire-like ( ew Twilight) but this show is raw and gritty and in anything whether it be books are TV shows, that’s what I like. Fluff ( like Glee) shouldn’t be written or directed on television, I believe it doesn’t help the brain work. Also, the music soundtrack in this series in AMAZING.. I don’t really pay attention to the music ( I listen to the lyrics more so…) but this soundtrack for this show is awesome.. this show is going to go far.. I can already see it now..


Pushing Pedestals.

You think you’re so cool

with you’re flower in your hair and shit,

Honey please…

you aren’t as good

or even better than us.

I might not be the most attractive

but a beauty with no brains

isn’t a beauty to me.

You maybe the one he wants

because you match the “perfect woman” standards

but really.

you’re just as low and trashy

as the dirt bags who look ten times worse than you.

so in reality,

make up and flowers

cover up the filth

that cakes around your eyes.

and without that

you’re just like every low life around

so don’t put yourself on a pedestal dear

because we might push you off.

Inspired by Facebook profile pictures… and rich bitches… and maybe a little reality tv


What is Love Really?

Tonight I was watching a marathon of the show Four Weddings,which is about 4 brides who go to each others wedding and vote which wedding is the best based on venue,dress,food, and overall experience. As I continued to watch it, it reminded me of what I thought of what love is really all about . I wrote this a month ago, but it explains what is love to me. I hope you fee the same. 

As I look at people holding hands I wonder what they are feeling. How two people can openly be public about how they feel about each other and not really care what people really think. When I had a boyfriend, I never was like that. I always wanted to be reserved. To me, it felt like I was showing the world something that was really none of their business to see. I guess when I see people holding hands walking around campus; I am supposed to feel happy for them. I strangely don’t. Actually, I find it really pathetic. Maybe I’m just jealous.I wouldn’t be flaunting my relationship to complete strangers.

I saw these two men holding hands at this seminar I was attending, I wouldn’t usually think anything of it but something about those two men caught my eye. The love they had for one another was radiating off them. It was something I had never seen in my life. With only looking at them from the corner of my eye, I proceeded to watch them kiss each other on the cheek. I thought that was pushing it a little over the edge. It wasn’t like I was watching it for entertainment, I was watching because there something beautiful about the whole moment.

I believe people love things they will never be able to have. I know do. I’m in with love an older guy.  I think it’s even harder for someone to long for a love they will never get in return, then to never have one at all. I know it breaks my heart knowing he can be with another woman, and never with me. When I fell in love with him, it wasn’t because he did something to make it happen. It was that he cared about me. Love is all about giving a shit about people. In the world we live in now, that doesn’t usually happen.

Some people believe that love means material objects. Some women think that the amount of karats on their fingers determines the amount of love their significant other has for them. This statement is absolutely false. It shows how much of a gold digger she really is. Love isn’t about fancy dinners, breakfast in bed (which is always very nice) and expensive jewelry, it’s about the simpler, cheaper things in life.

I believe when you are in love it’s a feeling unlike any other. It’s common to be unsure if you are actually in love. I know I second guess myself a lot of the time in my life. I think how can I be in love with someone who doesn’t love me? How can I care for someone more then I have ever cared about anyone? When I see couples who are doing their bridal registries at my job, I wonder how they knew that other person was “the one”.

I honestly think your heart must know. Throughout life, people have fallen in and out of love but, it’s all about trial and error. With every relationship you have, it’s another lesson learned. But when you fine “the one” it’s as if you are ready for the real deal. You are ready to go into the boxing ring of life, and fight for what you love.

Love isn’t all about holding hands in the hallways, or chocolate on Valentine’s Day. It’s all about the respect you give to another person. It could be your mother, father, husband, children, boyfriend, girlfriend or simply your friend. To me, love is all about the surprises. It’s about the simple text message when you’re having a bad day, or having them visit you at the job you dread. With me, it’s about the simple things that made me fall in love. It wasn’t about the crappy dinners we’ve had or the endless amounts of shitty coffee I’ve consumed. It’s all about the company. If you’re in the company of someone who cares and respects you, the material things seem to fade away. And at that moment, its love.