Window Watching


Hands.smooth

chipped polish you slide your hand against the canvas

painted with reds and pinks  my viens like lines curves,  my hips

The sun peeks, wanting to see the play, the clouds dancing in a ballroom

You the star, but the stars are sleeping

and you and I standing. silk melts

hitting the floor and nerves float out the window like cigarette smoke.

the audience  sees blurred

but you and I can only dance.

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Waiting.


At this moment

This millisecond

I am the happiest

I will ever be.

You are far out into the distance

Where traffic lights are turning red

But yet some people,

including you, will go anyway.

I watch

snow

Kiss concrete so delicately,

Sipping warm coffee

Made just right.

You pants lay on the floor

A souvenir of your existence

Watching me

Screaming at

Me.

I walk over them

Like an uneasy bridge

Shuffling across the hardwood floor

Of mine,

Our

Apartment.

The clock ticks loudly

Hanging over my head

It counts the seconds

Moments

Till you are home again.

Fade Into you


So I’ve been watching the new show Nashville on Abc. As much as I don’t like Hayden Panettiere, I really love this show. The music in show is amazing and this song is my favorite. It’s so sassy and sexy. Even though this show is extremely dramatic, and I have enough of that in my life, I really enjoy just sitting on my recliner after a long hardworking week and flip on my ONDemand and see this show waiting for me. It’s a guilty pleasure, but so are all my shows..

Have a great Monday!
Sarah.

Our Last Goodbye.


The loud clanking of my high heels echoed the empty airport when we arrived. With my worn out suitcase in hand, I was off on another journey, another trip. But this time, I wasn’t sure if I was coming back. He grabbed my clammy hand as we walked over to the check in station.

“You’re gunna be fine.” He said, squeezing my hand a little tighter

“I know, but what about you Kris? Fly out for like a week and come back, you can do that.”

“Sar, I can’t do that. I have to work; you know how difficult it is to take time off.” I shrugged; he had to switch with three different people just to be able to take me to the airport. There would be no way for him to just drop everything and leave.

“I want you to do me a favor.”I stopped and looked up at his slicked black greasy hair fall in his face.

“What?”

“I want you to never come back. Don’t come back for me. If we are meant to be together, than we will move on from here. You are better than this place. You have so many more opportunities anywhere else other than shit hole. I regret every day coming back home after college. So please, move on from here.” A tear fell from my face.

“Are you breaking up with me? In a fucking airport?” I asked, dropping my suitcase on the floor.

“No, I just know you. You would come back for me.” I grinned and nodded.

“Why do you have to know me so well?” I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Would you rather I didn’t ” I shook my head as I swung the heavy suitcase on the counter for the teller. As we walked into the waiting area, more people were starting to file in with coffee and other baked goods in their hands.

“Sar, you’re drooling practically on those people. You want a coffee?” I nodded staring at the little steam floating in the air from their cups. I watched him as he walked to the counter where he ordered me a small coffee with three sugars, light with milk. For four years, it had always been the same and he never forgot. I wonder if I will one day forget what he looked like, what he sounded like, how he takes his coffee. He walked towards me as his black basketball sneakers scuffed the floor.

“Thank you,” I said grabbing it from him, the warmth of the coffee around my hand relaxed my whole body. I sipped the small coffee that had gotten on the lid and smiled.

“I don’t think I will ever find someone who can make my coffee as good as you do. I can’t even do it this good.” He smiled, putting his arm around my shoulders as we walked towards a pair of chairs closest to the gate entrance.

“You wanna hear something that I’m afraid of?”

“What?” He said, as he pulled out his iphone.

“That I’ll forget.”

“Forget what?”

“You.”

“I don’t think you will,” he smirked, giving me a look. I elbowed him and giggled.

“You can’t take anything seriously can you?”

“Nope.” He said as he started to play temple run. I leaned into him, looking over his shoulder.

“Never miss an opportunity?” I sighed.

“Nope.” He said looking intently at the screen; I nudged his arm as I watched the small character fall to his death. I smiled.

“You probably are never going to see me ever again and you play temple run?”

“Whenever I play temple run I’ll think of you.”

“And I how much I hate it?” He laughed

“And how much it ruined your life…” I rolled my eyes.

“Worst thing I ever did in my life was introduce you to temple run.” He put his arm around me and sighed.

“You know what Sarah; I think I am really going to miss you.” I looked out the window as planes zoomed off in the distance. In a few minutes that would be me. I leaned on his shoulder as we both looked out at the sunny sky.

“Hey Kris?”

“Yeah?”

“Promise me something.”

“What?”

“That you won’t ever forget.” Warm tears started to roll down my face. I told myself I would not cry in front of him.

“Sarah, I will never forget. I’ve never had a person ever treat me as well as you did. No, I’ll never forget you.” He leaned down and kissed the tears that were rolling down my face. I smiled. “Don’t be crying, I will see you again. Sooner rather than later.” I nodded as I quickly wiped the tears from my face. The boarding announcement blared in my ear. I looked down at the floor.

“I guess this is it?” He nodded. “I love you Kristopher, don’t forget that.” I said as I clinged to his pea-coat.

I’ll see you soon. I nodded as I bit my lip. I let go and walked through the gate. Before walking away. He winked at me. I smiled.

 

I had to do an assignment with just dialogue.. Thank you old texts and Facebook chats! 

I really am not good at dialogue, narrative is my thing.. what do you guys think?

Sarah.

The Aqua Collar.


You deviously hid under the table

Waiting for me to look for you

You followed my feet as they crossed the  floor softly

Looking around every spot

Where balls of black and white hair littered the floor

You held in your cries

As if a lover hadn’t yet broken your heart

But you knew the white puffy clouds

Would  turn gray soon enough.

I spot you

Coiled in a ball hidden

Your beady golden eyes pierce mine like knives

We connect

You bolt

Running and colliding with the closed window

Thinking you could reach the sky

As the wind would flow through your jet black fur

I chuckled grabbing you under your arms

You sliced my hands with your sweet delicate weapons

Blood hits the hardwood floor

Each drip louder than the next

I drop you carefully

You scurry off to your hiding spot

Where I will have to find you again

another day.

 

Inspired by The 20 words prompt

and also this lovely cat…

Thanks Baby!  ^

sarah.

You and Your Hand.


Before you grabbed my hand

I was more nervous

because I knew it was coming

I just didn’t know when

I played  with the moment

imagining what would happen

wondering if it would have changed the way

they looked at us

Would you have of started kissing me?

I was not ready for that you know?

Would this “hand holding” lead to other things

like sex and falling in love

because I was not ready for that.

My heart was still young and naive

and only you and your hand

was the going to be the one

to make it ready

to take the risk

Inspired by a prompt for creative writing! 

sarah. 

I’m a Lucky Girl.


As I walked into the 7/11 last night, I realized how lucky I am. I was watching this girl  who was with her boyfriend and I felt like was watching my reflection. She was standing at the doorway of waiting for her boyfriend who was getting coffee. She didn’t look happy but when she saw him walking towards her,she smiled really wide. But than, the guy just walked past her without any recollection of her at all. She followed him with her head down and her smile disappeared. That whole scenario wasn’t my reflection but when the girl left, I asked Scottie if he saw what just happened. He was also getting coffee next to the asshole guy so he didn’t see anything, of course. It hit me that if I was that girl and I smiled really huge when Scottie was walking up to me, I don’t think he would ignore me. He would roll his eyes and call me a geek and we would walk out together.I am lucky that I am not stuck in a situation like that girl was in. In a way, I actually understood her because I was like that atleast once in my life. You’re trapped because you love the person so much  because if you left them, it would  kill you

After our trip to 7/11, Scottie and I we were talking about eyes. Recently, eyes have started to intrigue me. I wonder what people see when they see me. Supposedly I am easy to read, but reading me and looking in my eyes are two very different things. My eyes can tell you one story but “I” can tell you another. He said something that really got me thinking. He said “when you look in my eyes, you see only one thing, right?” and I shook my head. He was surprised. When I look into peoples eyes I see what they want to say but are too afraid to say. I see stories that I can’t read. I see a beautiful mixture of colors that make a person unique. I see the tears that will eventually come. I see feelings that are hidden deep within them. I look into his eyes, I realize how lucky I am.

Yup, I am really corny… and a little cute <3

Sarah.

Why I am a Dog Person.


After watching this video I want this dog.

I think that all dogs have their own personality. I think in some ways, people are reincarnated into dogs because I don’t know how dogs can be so human like. As you have seen from my past posts, I have two dogs myself. My dogs are hilarious. The other day, my friend came to pick me up from my house. My dogs were going on and on because my friend had never been to the house before. I told the dogs that he wasn’t going to hurt me and they listened. I treat my one dog jack like we are siblings. Because I am an only child, my dogs are as close to siblings as I am going to get. I love my dogs,but this video is so cute. Hope you enjoyed it!
Sarah.

To Be a Kid Again.


For my summer job, I am a bus aid for a summer school in my town. I am on the bus with 12 pre schoolers. Boy have they made me stay young. Some are autistic but they try to talk to me. I feel so bad for them because I know they didn’t want to be born like this and they want to be like everyone else.

These children make me laugh alot. They think I am so cool because I am older, I think they are cool because they are younger because they have a whole life to live. I doubt they will ever remember me when they get older but right now they enjoy coming on the bus to tell me about what they are going to when they get home, or how they aren’t very excited to get to school. I wouldn’t be either if I had to go all summer to school. I try my very hardest to make the bus ride enjoyable and feel like quicker than it is.

So today as I was at work, I was talking to my little kids on my bus about what they wanted to be when they grew up. It was funny because they were giving me answers that I would never have said at that age. one little boy said “I want to be an olympic swimmer, with no swimmies.” They are four and five years old. Another girl told me she wanted to be a princess but one girl really shocked me, she told me she wanted to be a vet but only for lizards. I was surprised because she is a really girly girl. She told she has had a lizard in her house since she has been born. I thought that was really brave. I hate lizards. They scare me, and they are gross.

I remember when people asked me that question I would tell them I wanted to be a baby doctor. I would watch discovery health channel alot. It was weird, but even thinking about doing that makes me want to dry heave. I wouldn’t want anyone especially babies to be throwing up on me or crying in my face. ( God bless my pediatrician)

I really love talking to little kids because they are so honest. They will tell you they don’t  like or want to do something. They will compliment you and they mean it. They haven’t been corrupted by the social media and the world yet because their world consists of princesses and talking cars. Childrens thoughts are wonderful and beautiful.

When I was little, I remember that I always wanted to grow up. I always wanted to be older because my cousins were older and I wanted to be as cool as them. My cousin Joan especially. When I was little, I was always thought my cousin Joan was too cool for me. She is four years older than me I wanted to be just like her. I wanted to have friends like hers. But I knew that I was always going to be younger than her, now that we are older we have alot more in common and she invites me to go places with her and her friends. I finally belong and I’m not the “baby cousin” anymore.

Little kids have hopes and dreams that in their minds are unrealistic but in their brains, nothing is impossible. I wish adults thought the same. Children don’t have to worry about money and grades and drama and broken hearts. The only terrible thing they have to worry about is whether or not they have a good snack.

For a long time I told myself I didn’t want to have children. I thought they were going to ruin my life. It’s a risky thing because you never know what the father of that child will do. He could just leave you and try to take your child with him. But after being with these kids for the last few weeks. its making me second guessing my boycott against children. Having a kid ( not right now) would be fun, I think. I know my mom had fun. At times I was a pain in the ass but I know no matter what, she will love me and always will.

Enjoy the Day!

Sarah.

Salad Kisses.


your kiss reminded me of salad

crispy, light

and full of health.

but to me

its like starving an obese person.

I’m not saying your gross

or that you are eventually going to wilt,

I am saying you are a burst of fresh air

on the most humid day of the year.

you are a tall glass of water

after a long day of hard work.

you are relief

but  I am not used to using an umbrella when it rains.

I am used to getting soaking wet

and dancing in the rain.

I’m used to not being afriad of feelings

and love

because I have found someone

who lets me eat salad

even though in the end

I’d rather eat cake instead.

Everything is easier explained when it’s compared to food. Aren’t I right? 

sarah.