I never really thought of Easter as big of a holiday as this year turned out to be. But today was different. Paul ( the new guy) came to dinner with my family and I gotta say, I wouldn’t have what I have any other way. My family loves him, (most) of my friends love him, I love him, it’s all just a wonderful thing. But anyway going back to dinner with my family. It’s funny how a group of people can make you feel so whole even when you think your life is awesome they make it even worth while. At this moment, I am the happiest I will ever be in my life. I have given the opportunity to not only have an amazing family, but also a few amazing friends and an amazing boyfriend. When I was young I thought noone was going to understand me or try to get me. They would judge me but. But right now, no one…. noone is judging me. I am finally genuially happy. My life is exciting and I am eager to see where 5 years down the line takes me.
Here are some pictures of the day:
Paul and I
My mom made an arrangement for Paul’s family.
I have more but i can’t figure out why instagram online can’t put pictures on other sites.. bullshit…
For the last week I haven’t been able to really have time to sit and write on here so I thought I’d catch you up on what is going on..
My life is crazy busy. I’ve never had such a crazy life. I feel like I can’t keep up. I am starting to worry about school since its the end of the semester and I want to make sure I do really well. I have been this whole time, but panic mode kicks in about 3 weeks before the end of the semester and you question where the hell you were this whole time. I’ve been trying to do as much extra credit as I possibly can in this few short weeks left and I feel like nothing is ever going to be enough to where I will feel comfortable. Maybe next semester wont be so crazy, but I highly doubt it.
Today I found out that I lost 26 lbs in 1 year. I never realized how fat I was a year ago. I don’t know how any man, especially Scottie found me attractive… but who knows.. men lie too. I also never realized how 1 year can make such an impact. In 1 short year I have turned into a more shapely girl, but more mature than I was before. I internally and externally changed. It’s hard to look at the old me and not cringe. My mother always told me that I was beautiful but I knew that I wasn’t and I had alot of changing to do. Since September I lost close to 20 lbs, its hard and I can feel the difference but I have to work harder. It’s alot of work keeping the weight off and not starve yourself. But you take one day at a time until you get to the goal you wanna reach.
I’ve never wanted my Christmas shopping to end so badly in my life. Before working in retail I wanted the Christmas season to always be around, I wanted to take my time shopping and pick out the perfect gifts. Now, please I just want to find something and throw it under the tree. I think retail have ruined my Christmas because it just so freaking stressful. It’s so busy and your watching people shop for Christmas and you think “shit, I haven’t even started yet” every single time you have a customer. Also, the more assholes in the store at this time of the year, which means more patience.. and after a long day at school you sometimes just can’t take it.
Tomorrow is another busy day, again. Gym and work and also running my creative writing club at night. Maybe I’ll get some writing done while waiting for everyone to get there. Let’s just hope!
This year was the first year that I participated in the cyber monday festivities and I must say, It has now become the most dangerous holiday ever. First of all, I have never shopped online before so I didn’t realize how easy it was. You simply put in your credit card number and BAM there you go and it will be shipped to your house and in your hands in a matter of days. I only got a few things but those few things add up. It’s terrifying because I hate,hate,hate, hate spending money. A few months ago, I ran out of money and I had to use other peoples money and I hated it. I hate feeling poor and not have enough money. I don’t mind spending money on other people, but forget it if I have to buy something for myself. I feel like I just wasted my entire life. It’s absoultly terrible.
This shopping online thing is too dangerous for me. I might buy one more thing right before christmas and then I will be closing the book on online shopping and not open it again until next cyber monday. But there are some really awesome qualities of online shopping. First, you don’t have to talk to anyone. you don’t have to walk around a store or wait in line. It’s nice that way. I work at Kohls, so the less I have to be in a store when I am not on the clock, the happier I am.
With my addicted personality, I’d be afraid with this easy access to every item in the world I would be shopping everyday and draining my bank account dry. It’s a scary thing, but it was nice to get some really cool things that my friends/family will love when they open them on christmas morning.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving and it is my favorite holiday. I must sound like a fatass that way but I don’t care about anyone’s judgments. Thanksgiving is the ultimate cheat day and I must say after all the hard work I’ve done losing 20 lbs in 3 months, I think I deserve it, even though I’ll be regretting it hours later.
Even though Thanksgiving is about food, there is a bigger picture to it. Thanksgiving is all about being Thankful for what you have. Since the hurricane, I’ve really been thankful for everyone and everything in my life. I can go home and put a light on, watch tv, go on my computer without a problem. Some people who live down the street from me don’t even have homes; let alone a computer, tv and lights. It must be so hard for everyone who has been affected around now. They dont have money to start buying presents.. they are living in other people’s houses. I think its such a shame.
But fortunately for me, I get to have a wonderful thanksgiving tomorrow with all my family. Tomorrow I am making breakfast. I never do so it will be fun. I am making Cranberry Walnut pancakes;like the ones I had in Cape Cod;but hopefully better. For the dinner I am going to make Walnut Crumb Cake, don’t worry I will take pictures of all the delciousness tomorrow.
My favorite part of Thanksgiving is the parade. For as long as I can remember I remember sitting on the couch and watching the parade, then we would go to my aunts house and I would finish watching it there. It’s always the same crap every year but its always special, especially at the end when Santa comes.. I think that’s my favorite because its the start of the holiday season.. and even though I work in retail, I really am excited this year.
For the first time ever, I am really not looking forward to Halloween. As my age progresses I’ve noticed that Halloween is not as exciting as it used to be. I remember getting so excited to look into peoples houses while I trick or treated ( even back then I was a baby creep) I wanted to see how they decorated their house compared to mine. Some peoples houses were disgusting and I always remembered what they gave me and I threw it out. I was a bratty trick or treater. I remember I would bitch to my friends when the old people would give us dollars.. now I would be like ” A twenty would be nice, thanks..” but back then, money was just an object.
I also noticed that Halloween for my age now is national “dress up like a hooker day” and I find it really horrendous. #1 I don’t want to see your sexual role playing costumes..at all.. especially in public and #2 why would you want to wear lingerie in public? Isn’t that kind of cold? For me, Halloween is sitting at home eating chinese food and watching scary movies. I leave the boring bowl of pretzels nobody likes outside, and just hang out at home. The costumes are always the same. In my neighborhood, they have probably recycled the same costume for their whole childhood.But you know, I don’t judge.
This year I wasn’t really in the Halloween spirit. I went to the zombie walk ( for hunger) and enjoyed myself. But other than that, I did nothing “halloweeny”. I am more excited about Thanksgiving. It’s the ultimate cheat day. The funny thing is, I cannot stand Thanksgiving Turkey. The sight of it makes me nausus,but I still can’t wait.
I did however, miss pumpkin painting this year.. but I’m over it. I don’t have time to do my homework.. when would I have time to paint a pumpkin?
So yesterday for the 4th of July, my cousin, her friend,her boyfriend and I went tubing down the Delaware River. I have never gone before so I was really excited to go.
I am a pretty adventurous girl so going down a river in a tube sounded like an awesome idea. I’ve been in lakes and ponds before upstate, but never in the Delaware River. I’ve driven past the Delaware my whole childhood and never had been in it.Sitting in my flaming hot black tube was one of the most relaxing experiences I’ve had in a really long time. We had lunch on the tube and everything, all we needed was music, but we’ll bring that next year.
That’s my cousin Joan, her boyfriend and myself hanging out on the tubes. Brian was the rower, he guided us away from the jagged rocks and stuff.
It was so beautiful and calm. I fell asleep for a little while in my tube and now I have a sunglasses tan line, its scary looking and extremly painful.
I was surprised to see alot of people there. I’ve never even heard of tubing down the Delaware until just this year, but apparently everyone goes atleast once in their lives and its so fun. It really is fun when you are going through the rapids because its like you are on one of those slides at a waterpark. The bottom of the river was really slimely and rocky but it was awesome. I was surprised how shallow the water was.
My cousin Joan and her friends are really awesome and she invites me to go to awesome things with her and her friends. They are just really cool opportunities, and I appreciate and glad she invites me :)
P.S All Credit for the Pictures goes to Kelly Riley.. I wouldn’t have any pictures if it wasn’t for you!
So another holiday is over and I must say considering how crappy I was feeling, it was a beautiful day. The weather was absolutely spectacular and the company was wonderful. Holidays are all about family. No one should be working on holidays. Holidays are about being grateful and honored and appreciative of your family. Whenever I leave my family, I feel really wonderful about myself. I feel like its a confidence booster for me. I don’t understand how people can just not talk to their families. It would kill me to not have a family. I wouldn’t trade my family for anything in the entire world.
My Family is the most important thing in my life, I don’t know what I would do without them.